Lumikki leaned in on his shoulder, looking perplexed and confused. "Simping? What's simping Ùlfr? Hmmm, and poor saps? Ye mean the fools in the pub? I can never believe most of them like me. I feel what they love is the idea of me. I am less a girl ta love and more a prestige to bare, and I feel that way cause of how I see 'em looking at me. Eyes of greed and pride. I am but a race to win. It got worse since I started coming more, I'm sure there are many who hate me for it, changing the feel of the crowd and all. Though the pub and bands adore me, catering to me fancies as I only bring them prosperity. It is all a show, a façade. But I dance the dance with 'em cause they can also entertain me."
She thought over what he said at it all. Letting the idea of it sink in for a moment. She was ready to bury her feelings in ice, and she was committed to the task, but for now she was pondering the prospect he proposed.
She realized then, after he mention his pride and joy of a tattoo, how she never bothered to take it in herself. She flew before him for a bit to really look at it for herself. Tilted her head as she studied it and traced all the details over with her eyes. She would nod to his statement and show him her satisfied expression. Lumikki would indeed see why someone would indeed be proud of it.
"I know I want plenty more meself, but I don't know what else to get and where to start."
She flew behind him again, her hands on his shoulders so she could bob behind him. Listening to him speak of his style as if the choice he had now would make him look foolish. As much as she wanted to tell him it really wouldn't, she remembered some of the stories her Uncle Brone would tell of the place. They were keen on their image, and Lumikki telling him otherwise to how he felt about it would be abhorrently rude and pointless. Ùlfr was right in that there was a kind of look to uphold, she just hated to had to hold it. Though, she finally realized. It was his choice to be there, as it was his choice to dress the part. She was less truly sad for him and just the lack of freedom she herself assumed these things gave him. It all finally put itself into perspective, and she circled back to the thoughts of the men in the pub and her thoughts of the Blue Pegasus guild.
She wondered...was Ùlfr also an ideal she loved more than the person? She thought back on their moments. The company they shared that time before. The comfort she felt he gave her. She thought about it all, mix with how the sight of him would make her hurt flutter and a fire burn in her. What could she idealize more than the person before her? She couldn't think of a thing. Though she found intense kinship from his dark race, she knew of the bad those entailed. She knew perfectly well she could stick with him in the tougher times most could not, and what more, she could understand the things he would feel because of them.
She finally understood all that it would mean for her. She would prefer to be with him during all those hard times than pretend that he was just some ideal or comfort.
The two would finally leave the city, entering to the peace and comfort of the forest again. The cool night air blowing as the sound of the crickets chirped. Lumikki would scan the woods taking in all the critters around. The dark green from all the foliage comforting her. The moon tonight was waning, almost entering its new moon. There wasn't that much light, not like the two really needed it, but the emptiness left behind from lady above was noticed. Still the stars would clutter the sky and still be dazzling. Lumikki would look up to them as they make their way for a comfortable spot to sit and eat.
"If ye meet me sooner, would ye really been like 'em? The fools in the bar? Would it mean if yet met me sooner, ye would of liked me?" She couldn't bare to look at him as she spoke but she felt it would be easier to move of if she kept going.
"Ye don't got ta say a thing back, or even care. Ye don't even got to acknowledge what I'm gonna say. Just consider it nonsense from a drunk girl or some foolish fancy a lass could have...." The words got stuck in her throat, and it felt her neck constrict. Pit grew in her stomach and she could never imagine a fear like this besides the feeling of fighting the Heartless Angel. She was tense and she was locked. Maybe she worried too much of what he would say, but that was more reason to toss it to the wind.
"Actually, just take it for what it is. As a member of yer pack just being honest so she could let it all go. Trust and all that bollocks, and hopefully ye'd still keep me round."
Lumikki was behind him the whole time they were walking but she hovered atop him now, leaning before him she that he'd see her face just upside down. Her hair fell like a drape blocking the rest of the view.
"Ye don't have to entertain me, and I ain't no soft fool. Its just...well Michael, I can't explain it but I think ye are me first love. Trust it bothered me cause I didn't want ta bother ye with me pointless emotions. I just guess the more I try to bury 'em the messier I could get. I wanna be prime for ye if the time comes when ye need me the most. So I just wanted to clear the air. I adore ye Ùlfr, and I believe I always will."
The fear and tenseness faded from her. She no longer felt the burden of it all. Wondering if she should of done so from the start to be rid of them. Still, now that she finally was honest with herself and to him, she felt stronger than she was before. Lumikki loved hiding with the shadows, but she didn't really want to hide who and what she was from everyone she cared for. She wanted to be accepted fully. She suppose for that, she would first have to accept being rejected as well.
The features of her face softened. She gave him her sweetest smile once more filled with her lover and adoration. She did adore him.
She flew up higher before him then. To give him the space she figure he needed. Keeping herself a ways above as the finished their walk. They were just at the end as now there was just the trail to take up to the high ground they hung out before.
"I don't know if ye still have it in ye to play songs. Though what ever ye did would make me night. It was the reason I took ye there. I hope ye like mine too, ye'd be the first I'd play for. It's kinda embarrassing really."