I haven't been particularly quite over the year or so as far as my criticisms go. I don't doubt that in secret I've probably developed a bit of a reputation as toxic or as a troublemaker, and I will carry those without issue. I don't dispute that times I was perhaps out of line, perhaps justified in others.
However, I don't much seek to continually carry on with more of that drama, of me reading too deeply into something, coming to distrust a reasoning, or finding some sort of hypocrisy within a decision. It does not do me any benefit save for just frustrating me and contributing towards a lessened experience on the site as a whole, relative to what I hope for going in.
Even now, having recreated Levi, having explained myself to a few people as to the reasons behind it, which I don't feel the need to dredge up again or bring to the forefront, save for a hope that creating this character would more reinvigorate me as an RPer. But, even then I'm finding that enjoyment that I once had not being there again. Almost ironic given that a character that I as much built a reputation upon and did contribute towards some great content on the site with being what essentially became the nail in the coffin for me.
Arguably it could be said that me scooping was of my own mistake, and I wouldn't dispute that. The reasons behind it sound as far as I were concerned, and I felt whatever fallout that stood to come would be rectifiable in one manner or another. I still believe that, and at this point have no reason to believe that I was wrong in that respect. But, that aside, had I not or otherwise, brings to question would me sticking around being worthwhile, personal plot aside.
I don't think Augusta was a bad character, in the sense of a concept or idea. One who with perhaps more time I could have come to enjoy, but I think whether it were Levi or Augusta, I would be compromised in the sense that the level of enthusiasm that I had so long ago is no longer there, and to think otherwise is just me lying to myself.
Some of that also just stands to how the site has changed, which I have made my own criticisms and concerns known over the course of a bit of time, including that of recent days as to things such as the site. But that can also be attributed not an insult to the site, but rather just me as a disgruntled member not pleased by what they're seeing. And that may be just a changing of the times, of my point of view being a bit more outdated, certainly not as reflective of what we're seeing as a whole amongst the community here.
And there is nothing wrong with that, but perhaps more just an indicator that my time here has come to an end. To all of this, for what I may stand critical of, to members or decisions that I may not agree with, with frustrations, with a pair of characters who I created with hopes of being engaged and excited again only to be disappointed by my own expectations. However you want to splice it, it doesn't really say much other than I ought to walk away, and having stuck around as long as I have, I don't think that's wrong.
Like I said, I'm not going to air out dirty laundry or single out anyone, but everything plays a factor. And to be frustrated in aspect or another only for something else, as arbitrary or insignificant as it may be, to add onto that frustration, it isn't healthy.
I've had a good run here. A lot of good people whom I have RPed with, and unfortunately a good deal of people whom I hoped to RP with, only to realize those topics would be a prolonging of the inevitable. To those, to Bianca, Kon, Xandra, Faye, Akira, Chloe, Snow, and many others whom I had hoped to topic with, my apologies that such a topic won't come to be. But better that than a topic in which I would be going through the motions than thoroughly enjoying or making enjoyable to the other party.
So I've dragged this on long enough. I will remain on the Discord at least for a time; until eventually I'll find myself removed. I may check out the site every so often from that point, but fair to say, this day marks the last day in which Levi will be RPing here in any capacity.