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advanced telekinesis magic starters

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#1Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Sun Apr 01, 2018 11:15 pm

Azari Monto
Name:  telekinesis moving
Rank:D-
Mana Cost: 25
Requirements: Advanced telekinesis
Type:Offense
Element:non elemental
Range: 5 Meters
Cooldown: 1 post
Duration: Instant 
Effect: He can moves things with his mind / physical motions (the motion for this is him just kind of making his hand flat and pointing his hand at the object and he just and it moves were ever he wants it to move but if he wants the object to come closer or go farther he pushes his hand forward to make the object go farther and pulls his hand towards him to make the object come to him )

Name: Telekinetic energy shield
Rank: D-
Mana Cost: 25
Requirements: Advanced telekinesis
Type: defensive,
Element: non elemental
Range: 5
Cooldown: 1 posts
Duration:  Sustain
Effect: He manipulates energy around him with his telekinesis to create a shield that is 3 feet high and 3 feet wide. This shield blocks magical and physical attacks It is a D- rank move so it can only sustain against 2 D- rank attacks and 1 C- rank attack   (the motion for this is just the caster  making a fist with both his hands and putting out his arms in front of him (and putting them together)

Name: Orb strike
Rank: D-
Mana Cost: 25
Requirements: Advanced telekineis
Type: Offense
Element:non elemental
Range: 5 Meters
Cooldown: 1 Posts
Duration: sustain
Effect:He uses his energy manipulation to make a orb about the size of a soccer (or a football depending on were your from) that does damage if touched he can send this orb after the other person or thing for one move or he can sustain it so it chases them in till he wants it to stop (the motion for this is the caster making a O with his pointer finger and thumb he then controls this by just moving his hand)(he can do blunt damage with this move)

Name: Blast
Rank: D-
Mana Cost: 25
Requirements:Advanced telekinesis
Type: Offensive
Element: non elemental
Range: 5 Meters
Cooldown: 1 Posts
Duration: Instant
Effect: This move sends a round disc that has a 3 foot diameter and a 9.42 circumference with a width of one foot. So its pretty big. This is his telekinetic energy blast and he does this with his telekinetic energy manipulation ability (he makes a gun with his fingers for this ability)This move does D-  Rank piercing damage right now)

Name: Fist fighter
Rank: D-
Mana Cost: 25
Requirements: Advanced telekinesis
Type: self strength buff
Element:non elemental
Range: Personnel
Cooldown: 1 Posts
Duration: Sustain
Effect: This move strengthens his fists by using his telekinetic energy manipulation by manipulating energy he puts a kind of casing around his fist that's add a D- rank strength boost to it (movement punches both of his fists together)



Last edited by Azari Monto on Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:37 pm; edited 15 times in total (Reason for editing : I did it I did it (:)

#2Nastasya 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:17 am

Nastasya
If you have not finished your spells yet, please put WIP in the title.



#8e1ed ~ Nastasya
#3Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:18 am

Azari Monto
woops I forgot

#4Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Mon Apr 02, 2018 12:26 pm

Azari Monto
I just want to know if this is how I do it?

#5Nastasya 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:03 pm

Nastasya
You can make 5 spells per topic. And a D rank mage starts off with 5 free D rank spells. Once you rank up you can make the other spells. See for spell slots the ranking regulations.

I didn't read the spells much yet but the main things you can find in the magic regulations. In case of mana use, range and so on. Pick one specific type of a spell and don't forget to mention a motion. Every spell needs a visible motion to be able to be cast.



#8e1ed ~ Nastasya
#6Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:23 pm

Azari Monto
oh ok that makes sence

#7Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Mon Apr 02, 2018 3:44 pm

Azari Monto
I finished I think

#8Nastasya 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Tue Apr 03, 2018 1:21 am

Nastasya
Alright let's go :)


  • Instead of filling in: N/A, turn it into: non elemental.

  • Telekinesis Moving: First of all change the type of the spell into one, considering what you have written down do you mean to do damage with the movement of the item or simply moving things around? A moving spell like this can only be supplementary, so you can't do damage with it. Please change that. If you meant to do damage, you would have to rewrite the spell.
    Second of all considering the motion, you can only move it once, unless you make a clear motion everytime you move the item. So change that, and add a clear motion that will be used every time you move the item again (it could be the same original movement).
    Third of all just a tip for the future, you can't move around player base items, so mention that you can move; non-player based items and that you can only move the items with the size of 1 x 1 meters (the size of the spell) ;)

  • Telekinetic energy shield: First of all; state a range. Every spell has a range unless it is casted upon the person itself.
    Second of all state the size of the shield and the durability, how much can the shield take?

  • Small Orb Trap: By making an offensive orb and a trap with that orb, you are basically making two spells at once. So pick either of the options. Again, mention the size of the spell. If you split the spell so for example 2 orbs, than the offensive power splits too unless they can only do damage together and are not separated.

  • Blast First of all please fix your code, you miss a [ .
    Alright on to your spell, sending five blasts would mean that you use the spell five times at once. That can't happen because cooldown. So to conclude; add a size to the spell and a motion and remove the five small blasts, unless like before you mean that the blasts can't be separated.

  • Fist Fighter Please fill in the missing information;
    Rank,
    Requirement,
    Range; in case it is on the person, add personal.
    And please add in the description that it's a D-rank buff + the visible movement.



#8e1ed ~ Nastasya
#9Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:52 am

Azari Monto
Alice Baskerville wrote:Alright let's go :)


  • Instead of filling in: N/A, turn it into: non elemental.

  • Telekinesis Moving: First of all change the type of the spell into one, considering what you have written down do you mean to do damage with the movement of the item or simply moving things around? A moving spell like this can only be supplementary, so you can't do damage with it. Please change that. If you meant to do damage, you would have to rewrite the spell.
    Second of all considering the motion, you can only move it once, unless you make a clear motion everytime you move the item. So change that, and add a clear motion that will be used every time you move the item again (it could be the same original movement).
    Third of all just a tip for the future, you can't move around player base items, so mention that you can move; non-player based items and that you can only move the items with the size of 1 x 1 meters (the size of the spell) ;)

  • Telekinetic energy shield: First of all; state a range. Every spell has a range unless it is casted upon the person itself.
    Second of all state the size of the shield and the durability, how much can the shield take?

  • Small Orb Trap: By making an offensive orb and a trap with that orb, you are basically making two spells at once. So pick either of the options. Again, mention the size of the spell. If you split the spell so for example 2 orbs, than the offensive power splits too unless they can only do damage together and are not separated.

  • Blast First of all please fix your code, you miss a [ .
    Alright on to your spell, sending five blasts would mean that you use the spell five times at once. That can't happen because cooldown. So to conclude; add a size to the spell and a motion and remove the five small blasts, unless like before you mean that the blasts can't be separated.

  • Fist Fighter Please fill in the missing information;
    Rank,
    Requirement,
    Range; in case it is on the person, add personal.
    And please add in the description that it's a D-rank buff + the visible movement.

So just fix all this and I should be good?

#10Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Tue Apr 03, 2018 12:00 pm

Azari Monto
ok I finished

#11Nastasya 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Wed Apr 04, 2018 12:30 am

Nastasya

  • Telekinesis moving:Your spell can't be instant and sustained, because of the movement it can be instant.

  • Telekinetic energy shield: Mention the size of your spell and change "magical and physical attacks about 20 hits from a another D- class 2 hits and C-,B-,A-,and S class its one hit till I upgrade it" to; has a durability of a C-rank.

  • small Orb trap: Again mention the size of the orb and considering it is an orb, it can only do blunt damage.

  • Blast: Again state the size of the blast, keep in mind the AoE sizes and your spell can't do 2 D-rank damage, it can do only 1. So your blast does D-rank piercing damage.

  • Fist Fighter: You forgot to fill in the rank of your spell.
    And I made a small mistake you don't have to add 5+ just say it does a D-rank strength boost and last; remove the damage, your spell is a strength buff not an offensive spell, so it doesn't do any damage.



#8e1ed ~ Nastasya
#12Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Sun Apr 08, 2018 9:15 pm

Azari Monto
I finished sorry I should of wrote
this on Easter but I totally forgot

#13Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Sun Apr 08, 2018 9:16 pm

Azari Monto
but I'm done now so pls tell me if I can get approved

#14Nastasya 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:56 pm

Nastasya

  • shield: still needs a size.
  • Blast: still needs a size.
  • Fist fight: you still need to fill in the rank of the spell.


Sorry I didnt get a notification.



#8e1ed ~ Nastasya
#15Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Wed Apr 11, 2018 1:25 pm

Azari Monto
I finished I think I'm hoping I didn't miss any thing thanks for pointing out mistakes and helping go thru every thing Alice. Also tell Snow Flake and Esperia thanks for helping me with my character. I had a lot of fun making this character and his magic so it should be a fun one to use and I think I'll wait intill after the time skip to use it or should I use it before that way I get ranked up? Ok well I guess I will have to figure that one out on my own. So thanks again Alice for helping me, hopefully every thing will be right this time and I will be able to start role playing

#16Nastasya 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Wed Apr 11, 2018 2:47 pm

Nastasya
I am sorry to inform you that 5 feet by 5 feet is too big as the maximum size is 1 x 1 meters.

And no problem dear, happy to help! You can always start before the time skip, it is up to you but it might take 2 more weeks or longer before the timeskip happens. Feel free to start rp'ing even if your spells aren't approved yet by the way!



#8e1ed ~ Nastasya
#17Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:43 pm

Azari Monto
ok thanks, once again

#18Nastasya 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Thu Apr 12, 2018 1:43 am

Nastasya
I am sorry perhaps I wasn't clear enough but the size of your shield still is 5 feet x 5 feet. This needs to be smaller. That's the last thing though!



#8e1ed ~ Nastasya
#19Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:36 pm

Azari Monto
Alice Baskerville wrote:I am sorry perhaps I wasn't clear enough but the size of your shield still is 5 feet x 5 feet. This needs to be smaller. That's the last thing though!

Oh whoops no that was not your fault I was just not paying attention

#20Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:39 pm

Azari Monto
I fixed it yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#21Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:40 pm

Azari Monto
I fixed it yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#22Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:40 pm

Azari Monto
I fixed it yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#23Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:41 pm

Azari Monto
aaa stupid glitch

#24Azari Monto 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:42 pm

Azari Monto
sorry about the spam it just for some reasoned lagged on me and then sent 3 of the same message

#25Nastasya 

advanced telekinesis magic starters  Empty Fri Apr 13, 2018 1:59 am

Nastasya
These spells have been approved.



#8e1ed ~ Nastasya

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