T'was merry night in the Eternal Nightmare house
Nobody in the tower made sound, not even a mouse
Yet from the silence a peep could be heard, just a little smidge
It was someone or another raiding the guild's Christmas fridge

"Zane!" Beelzebub called out, the yell sending Zane wide awake. Grumbling to himself, Zane rubbed his eyes before speaking back to Beelzebub in his mind. "Thanks for ruining my nice dream..." The demon didn't seem to care much. "That is not of concern right now! Listen!" Zane sighed, beginning to sit up on his bed as he attuned his ears to the tower around him. He could hear the sound of someone rummaging through the food in the kitchen roughly 20 floors below. "Venus is raiding the fridge. So what?" Zane asked, not sure why his companion was making such a huge deal over something so petty.

"So? So? SO?!" Beelzebub bellowed, demonic rage filling his every syllable. "There is TURKEY in there, Zane! Stuffing! Gingerbread cookies! EGGNOG! Do you really intend to let that woman steal it from us?!" Grabbing his head and groaning from the sheer volume emanating from his fly friend, Zane stood up and thought about the situation. That stuffing WAS pretty good.... quickly springing to action, Zane put on a pair of pajamas, ruffled his hair and gave one particularly long stare at himself in the mirror before hopping into the elevator.

Upon reaching the kitchen floor, Zane tiptoed into the room, narrowing his eyes as he tried to spot who exactly was raiding the fridge. It wasn't Venus, or Odin, or Vivi, or Erebus, or... uh.... anyone. "Uhhh... hello?" Zane asked, feeling the smallest bit spooked.

And then it hit him. With the force of a thousand suns, a light piece of fabric that has the scent of Zane's masterful cooking and Odin's excellent brewing struck the Lord of the Flies' protégé right in the head. Zane was taken aback by this blow, not so much for the sheer damage it inflicted (it was a turkey drumstick and a half-finished bottle of champagne in a fabric bag, it really didn't hurt much) but rather the suddenness of the attack. Zane lunged backwards, stopping near the kitchen counter. "Who's there?!" Zane asked, grabbing a nearby spatula and holding it forward as though it was a blade. "To your left!" Beelzebub called out.

"Oh hoh hoh..." A voice that was both deep and cute remarked. Upon turning his eyes in the direction of the sound, Zane was treated to the sight of an adorable cat-like creature holding a red bag - a red bag filled with his precious food. "T'was mighty impressive that thou managed to survive my swing." Zane stared blankly at the cat-thing for a moment. "Can we keep i-"

"No."

"Look, I'm gonna need you to give that back. Okay kitty?" Zane asked, holding his hand forwards and making a little gesture with his finger. "C'mon kitty, spspspsps..." The creature's face quickly spread with a look of disgust for the elf in front of her eyes. "It seems as though you're a failure at both types of cat calling..." Beelzebub smugly remarked. "Do not treat me as though I am some common stray, you knave!" The cat-thing huffed, puffing out its chest a little bit in an attempt to look tougher as it stood on the kitchen counter. "I am a master thief! An expert in the fields of stealth, deception and trickery. Thou art in the presence of the one, the only... Mama Mia!" The cat practically screamed out. It was already failing in the stealth department... "Mama Mia?" Zane asked, raising his eyebrow at the little thing. "Perhaps a little too on the nose.."

"Well whoever you are, I'm gonna need those back." Zane pointed at the bag full of Christmas leftovers. "Cats only have like, 300 taste buds. You know how many we have? Like, ten thousand. You're not gonna be able to appreciate that masterpiece of a bird!" Zane immediately lunged forward soon after speaking, swinging his free arm in an attempt to snatch the bag out of Mia's han- err, paws. Mia was prepared for this however, the cat hopping over to the other side of the room. "Thou insult me at every turn!" Mia now stood at the entrance to one of the two elevators that transported people throughout the tower. "T'was my intention to only steal food and drink, but thy impotence has changed my mind! A fool such as you deservers his entire tower robbed!" Mia turned around and jumped up, pressing one of the buttons on the elevator. "There is no way you can let that happen! After her!" A sense of panic came from Beelzebub's voice. It made sense for a demon representing the sin of greed to be scared of theft, Zane supposed.

"Not on my watch!" Zane didn't want his guild hall robbed of anything either - at least robbed of anything that was his, anyways. Following after Nimbus into the elevator, the little cat jumped over Zane's head, letting Zane run straight into the wall. Upon turning around to continue chasing after the little thing, Zane only found a cage door separating him and Nimbus. It seemed as though the elevator had activated "Knaves like you deserve to be brought to the ground!" His little paw pointed towards the number selection. 1 was selected. "Shit!" Zane yelled, knowing that the old-ass elevators in this building could only handle 1 input at a time - once you selected a floor you had to wait until you got there to tell the thing to go anywhere else. "I, meanwhile, shall strive for great things and fly to even higher heights! See you soon, my dear fool!" With that Zane's view of Mia quickly faded as the elevator began descending towards the ground floor.

"MIAAAAAAA!!!!" Zane screamed, his anger towards that damn cat overcoming his every sense.

The ground floor was as peaceful as it had ever been, by the standards of an evil organization's base anyways. That being said, Beelzebub, with his ever watchful hundreds of eyes, spotted a flaw in the design of the place. "Is the fountain out of order?" The demon asked as Zane studied the displays on the elevators to see where it was that Mia was going. "Yeah, for a week now. Half the water circulation in the building is messed up. I've posted notes on Erebus' door telling him to fix those damn pipes, but they're still not working."

"What makes you think Erebus would know hot to fix such a thing?" Beelzebub asked, unsure of why it was that Zane was asking that man specifically. "Well... you know."

"...Know what?"

"C'mon man, you know! Don't make me say it!"

"Zane, I genuinely have no idea. Cease your witholdance of information an-" Soon after Beelzebub would be cut off by a sudden shout from Zane. "Shit! She's in my room!" Zane immediately hopped into the elevator, spamming the button that led to his floor in a desperate attempt to make it come down fasted. How did Mia know that was his room? Or was it just random? Shit, why couldn't she have raided literally anyone else's floor? Like Erebus? Slamming his hand on the elevator's walls in fury as he was transported upwards, Zane's mind quickly panicked about just what she would steal.

Upon arriving on his floor, Zane found the place in tatters. Mia had taken a pretty substantial amount already. "Mia! Where are you?!?" Zane stepped forwards, scanning every inch of his room for clues as to just where that cat could be. So many important things were gone. His eyepatch, the novel he was reading... wait. His pipe... "Now where could my pipe be..." Zane whispered under his breath, not long after hearing the little ding of the elevator going up once again. Shit! Mia had gotten the drop on him once again. Where was she heading this time around... floor 150. If Zane remembered correctly, that's where the terminal was - a device built by the ancient civilization whom once inhabited this place. "I'm coming for you, furball..."

The terminal was... complicated, to say the least. Numerous members of the guild had made an attempt at trying to manipulate it, but in the end could only get a hold of a portion of the basic functions. Zane had meant to study it more at some point, but, well... "For all we know it could blow this tower up." Yeah, that. The guild sort of got lucky that they were able to find out the commands that they did. One heated or cooled the building depending on how you slid it, one affected how much water would run through the pipes, again adjusted by a slider - they kept it in the middle, but the current physical problems with the pipes meant that only half the tower received water. Finally, they found a rather simple function that simply played mariachi music when pressed. Zane liked that feature.

The elevator Zane was in made a satisfying ding! sound as it opened. The floor with the terminal was rather basic, being just the machine in an otherwise empty room for the most part. Mia stood on the terminal itself, her little paws poking around with all the various commands. "Ah! Wait!" Zane called out, extending his hand in worry. Was this cat going to blow them all up?!

"Oooh!" Mia lifted her head up, a gleam in her eye. She seemed to be enjoying herself. "Thou hast come, have you? I must say, I find this device to be fascinating..." Zane didn't have time for the cats games, stepping forward to me- wait. Hold on. "Uhhh..." Zane looked at his feet only to find them covered in some kind of white substances. Mia let out a triumphant laugh, pulling a little tube of something out of her bag. "Ha! Thy fell right into my trap!" Well, shit.

"To believe you'd be bested by a cat of all things..." Beelzebub grumbled, his tone clearly unpleased. That bag could hold so many of their possessions Zane had to think of something, quick. "... You like that terminal, don't you?" Zane asked, an idea coming to mind.

"It fascinates me deeply, yes... I find myself vexed to understand much of what is being displayed, but the colors..." Mia's eyes were entranced. Guess all cats liked shiny flashing lights, even those of the master thief variety... "You wanna see something cool you can do with that thing?" Zane's heart beat a little fasted. This was it. This was what his plan all hinged on. "Why yes, I would much appreciate thy information! What must I do to see this "cool thing" thou describe?"

Oh. Guess she was rather naive.

"So first, touch that little button in the bottom left corner..." Mia nodded, her paw happily bouncing off the button a mere second after. "And now the one in the top-middle..." Mia continued following Zane's instructions. "And now press the bright blue button six times..." Mia happily hummed to herself as she joyously pounded the little button. "Finally, hit the green button in the bottom middle." Mia followed Zane's final instruction, a huge sigh leaving the elf's lips. He did it... he won, somehow or another. If he could even call this plan "winning"... "Just what is it you plan to do anyways?" Beelzebub asked. Zane stayed silent. He knew just how much the demon would oppose it should he hear it.

"What shalt happen now?" Mia asked, curious as to just what the terminal did. "I'm gonna take back what's mine, after we get through this..." Zane replied with a little smirk, the walls of the tower beginning to make weird sounds. "Ha! A low-effort jest. Do thy actually believe to have won? I bested you from the moment we met! You are but a common pickpocket compared to the great master thief, Mia!"

"You're right Mia. You have gotten the drop on me constantly. You're no doubt a skilled thief." Zane would admit, putting his pride aside to congratulate the cat on making it this far. But there was one thing Mia had overlooked. One shining hope in the darkness of the night that would allow Zane to win this contest of wits. "But unfortunately for you, you're missing out on one vital piece of information you should really know about this tower..." Zane closed his eyes, pressing the button on the elevator and preparing himself for what was about come. He could hear the walls get louder and louder by the second. "Erebus still hasn't fixed those goddamn pipes."

Suddenly water exploded from the walls of the floor (and most likely the walls of many other floors), immediately sending a wave of water crashing through the back wall of the room. "W-wait!!!" Mia panicked, immediately running towards Zane upon seeing a cat's worst enemy. "N-not a bath! Anything but a bath! Anything! NOOOOOO!!!!" Mia clinged onto Zane as the wave of water hit them, the force of it all being enough to remove the grip the strange white substance had on Zane's feet. Zane crashed into the back of the elevator, hitting the ground floor button as it soon took them downwards at incredible speeds, weighed down heavily by all the liquid in it.

The elevator hit the ground floor within half a minute, the cage opening and spilling out Zane and Mia onto the ground floor. This floor was filled with water as well, though only enough to reach someone's waist - a river of sorts had begun to form, one that had apparently already blew the front door wide open. Caught in the current, Zane and Mia were whisked right out the door of the tower, the water carrying them a fair ways out into the forest...

Zane coughed, a little bit of water coming out of his mouth as he did so. Shit. He really shouldn't have done that. "What were you thinking, you buffoon? Did you rea- you know what? I'm used to it by now." Beelzebub moved on rather fast these days, perhaps an effect of having known Zane for as long as he had. Groaning, Zane sat up, Mia laying on her back beside him. "Thou... have bested me. Take thy spoils." Mia extended her bag out towards Zane, Zane quickly grabbing it out of her hands. He rummaged through the thing to find everything that was his, including the leftover turkey. "I am but a failure of a master thief now... my name besmirched, my honor ravaged, my skills proven to be but a lie..."

"Nah, not really." Zane threw Mia back her bag after taking what he wanted from it. "You're a pretty good thief, Mia. You outsmarted me, you were quick and nimble, and most importantly of all - you were greedy. I mean, shit..." Zane looked at all the stuff in his hands. She really took a hell of a lot of his stuff. Most of these things were just worthless pieces of junk Beelzebub commanded him to get! "And I think being around you has taught me that even I, the host of the Lord of the Flies, have a lot more work to do when it comes to greediness." Zane got on his feet, tilting his head up to look at the tower only a few minutes ahead of the. "I mean, there's so much I really should be taking even in my own guild hall! Odin's brewing notes, Vivi's training equipment, Venus' underwear... all stuff I should've stolen myself, long ago." Zane looked towards Mia, a warm smile on his face. "And it's stuff I'll begin to start sneakily taking, all thanks to you. See you, Mia."

Zane walked forwards through the forest, not looking forwards to the rage that his guildmates would most definitely direct at him. As his feet crunched into the snow every step, he kept wondering if he would ever see Mia again. Would she come back for revenger? Or as a friend? Would she even keep thieving altogether? It would most likely be a while before he learned the answers to those questions. No doubt she would not appear for a whil- "Wait!" Mia called, standing in the snow behind Zane. Zane turned, raising an eyebrow. Did she want to go for round two already?

"Take me with thou!" Mia demanded, running towards Zane. "Huh?" Zane certainly didn't expect to hear that. Wouldn't your average cat hate someone after they made them take a bath? "Thou are the true master thief! I wish to learn from you!" Mia pleaded, having gotten directly in front of Zane now. "I am but a lass still. I was far too hasty in naming myself a master! But with a teacher like you, perhaps I could one day truly earn that rank!"

Zane paused for a moment, processing what had just happened. Then he laughed. He laughed really, really loud. So loud in fact that water came out of his throat a couple times here and there. "You really are one hell of a cat, aren't you? What do you think, Beelzebub?" Zane asked, Mia showing a look of confusion on her face. "I'll allow it. If this cat is what it takes for you to learn true greed, so be it." Zane smiled, bending down and picking up Mia with both his hands, placing the cat right on his shoulder.

"Welcome aboard, master thief in training."

And then Zane woke up. "Ah, shit. That was a really good dream..." Sighing, Zane wiped himself on his face. Wait, what was that? Drool? Guess he was really immersed in that one. Slowly but surely Zane pulled himself off the bed, moving to the bathroom section of his floor. Turning the valve on his little sink, Zane was greeted with an absence of water. "Goddamnit Erebus."

EXIT