In the end, fusions really didn't have anything to do with it all. Zane wasn't entirely sure if reunions would either.

After all, it had been quite some time since he had stepped foot in the Fairy Tail guild hall. Years. What was it now... 2? 3? Somewhere around there. The life of a wanderer was a fun one, but this was still Zane's home, even if it was one he had not been too. Standing outside the door to the building, the clouds began to cover up the afternoon sun as the blonde man took deep breaths, prepping himself. He could do this. This wasn't hard. He just had to go in: lots of people went in and out of their guild halls each and every day. This would be a piece of cake.

It wasn't a piece of cake. After 3 minutes of walking back and forth in front of the door, Zane took a brief pause to slap himself on the cheeks with his palms. This wasn't like him. The Zane he knew himself as was a coward, but certainly one who knew how to bluff! Maybe there were tons of people just past that door, all of which would think he was the coolest guy ever. All the new guildmates, and even some old ones, if any of the ones he knew had stuck around. "Alright, alright..."

Zane put his door on the handle, pushing it open without hesitation before he could change his mind again. He took a step in. He was here. It'd been a long time, but the hall was as lively as ever. That was to say that it was empty. "Oh." Zane figured this was sorta for the best. He had gotten over his fear of going in the hall, after all. Still, it woulda been nice to see someone... still, he figured it could come later. For now, he wanted to take a look around.

Walking through the main hall, Zane smiled as he ran his hands on the many tables that populated it. These always had a nice homey feel to him, one that a lot of newer tables couldn't replicate. He knew it was probably just because the guild was too poor to afford actual good tables, but it was charming nonetheless. Remembering that he used to cook here often, Zane's eyes wandered to the kitchen, his feet wanting to head in the same direction.

It seemed to him it hadn't been used for a bit. He didn't have any ingredients anyways. Still, this brought back some good memories. Sighing and smiling lightly to himself, Zane took out his notebook and sat on one of the wooden chairs at the table closest to the kitchen, on one of the chairs facing in the direction of the back of the guild rather than the front door. He grabbed his pen while he was at it, starting to write down details about the place as he would for everywhere else. This hall was about as close to perfect as an elephant is close to being small, but even after going away for so long it still felt like home.

Zane's ears noticed something. It sounded almost like a woman. One muttering something or another to herself, about lunch. Most of the other details were things Zane wasn't able to make out, but hearing such a thing only made him realize that there was someone else in this guild hall. Putting away his pen and notebook, Zane began his search. First of all, the sound. The muttering seemed to be coming in the direction of the kitchen, enough to signify it was close by. Wasn't he just in the kitchen...? Perhaps this person was well hidden. Why would someone want to hide in their own guild hall, though?

Zane worried as to if this was an intruder. The way they had been whispering made him believe that if they were one they'd most likely be of little threat. Chances are it was just someone without a home coming in and looking for food. Still, better safe than sorry. Zane put his hand gently on the handgun strapped to his hip. He supposed there was that guild spell he had as well, though Zane couldn't help but fear that would most likely simply kill some innocent and possibly homeless woman. Slowly getting up from his chair, Zane walked over to the kitchen slowly, thoughts in his mind about how this situation was actually pretty cool. Seriously, all those horror or thriller novels would have something like this, right? The protagonist in an empty building, on edge as he approached to investigate things of potential danger. It was stuff like this that made Zane like living on this planet.

Cautiously approaching the kitchen, Zane stood near the entrance to it, having gone inside. He leaned up against the counter closest to the exit of the kitchen, his hand still on his hip. He'd call them out first in an attempt to bring them out of hiding and perhaps resolve this peacefully. Shooting someone certainly wasn't on his list of things he wanted to do upon getting back to the guild hall. Taking a breath in, Zane spoke. "Is someone there? Are you okay?" Zane hoped to use comforting words in an attempt to make whoever this person was feel he wasn't a threat. He tried to soften up his voice a bit too, ending up having done so too much, making him sound a bit more girly than he actually sounded like normally. "I'm not here to hurt you, whoever you are. Come on out. You said something about lunch, right? I'm a cook, maybe we can figure something out."

Zane wasn't sure how he didn't notice the smell on his first visit, though it could've been that his nerves about being in the guild hall in general had gotten to him the first time, making the rest of his senses slightly dulled as a side effect. Now that he was here in the kitchen a second time, the foul smell definitely came to his notice, though he had smelled other things that were even worse before this, causing him not to gag or anything at the stench. Honestly, there were Oak alleyways that smelt worse than this. Zane thanked god each and every day that he wasn't hanging out in that city anymore...

Zane's attention was quickly brought to the sight of the woman stepping out from the pantry, his eyes growing a bit wider as the woman came out, him stepping back to widen the distance between him and the woman's general location, now a few meters away, stepping back and to the side, going slightly through the doorframe. It was then when a beam of magic hit the edge of his right shoulder, accompanied by a piercing scream. While the scream wasn't pleasant on the ears, the blow to his shoulder was undoubtedly of little pain to him, but enough to make his hands grab onto his pistol right away, backing out of the kitchen door and into the main hall with both hands on the grip, one index finger on the trigger in case Zane'd need to fire. "Back!" He said, really hoping he could've said something cooler than that. Still, he had read enough horror novels to know that the guys who say the cool stuff usually were killed off pretty early on.

Standing outside the door with an angle that allowed him to see most of the interior, Zane held his pistol towards the entrance in the case that he'd need to take more drastic measures. His fingers would stay on the trigger as he spoke, ready to shoot at the woman if she took any dangerous moves, even if it was while he was trying to talk to her. "I don't wanna have to hurt you, so come out of the kitchen slowly and I won't shoot." This time his demands were spoken in an even louder voice, most likely due to his shock. As a result his words sounded much clearer as well.

Zane actually had never fired this gun once, ever. As such, he was pretty nervous to do so. After all, he hadn't even taken the time to like, shoot empty bottles of something. At least that's what he'd think he would do - after all, that was clearly the most popular cliche when it came to learning how to aim and handle a gun. His hand trembled just a bit. Why in the hell was he afraid of some woman in the cabinet? Perhaps he had read a book like this before, or something. After all, this entire situation had only began to make him think about horror movie cliches. This could end up being a comedy cliche too, where the two were just having one big misunderstanding. Zane dismiss that thought, though. He was clearly thinking too hard, and that option wasn't unrealistic. In fact, why did Zane always think so deeply and intricately? Was there a reason?

After thinking for about 200 words worth of completely relevant inner turmoil, Zane realized that the woman had gone out the window, catching her just as her legs left. Shocked, Zane moved towards the window, peeking his head out lightly to see the woman who had fallen off of it into the grass outside. Luckily the window was on the first floor, so the fall was only a foot or two at most. Looking at the state of the woman and the many pieces of glass that lay both inside the kitchen and on the glass, Zane decided that he felt sorry for her foremost. He just wanted to help this lady.

"Hey, look. I'm not going to harm you at all. Let's just be friends here, okay?" he asked, hoping that the woman would finally heed his words. As a bonus, Zane reached his other arm out the window, holding it open to the woman. Most people wouldn't be so helpful towards those who just broke through their guild window, but he always did have a soft spot for helping women. That was only because he was a good person, of course! He never had any ulterior motives ever. Haha. Still, he only wished to help for the time being. The man really didn't wanna have to shoot some girl on his first day back. Flashing a small, friendly smile at her, Zane really hoped that she wouldn't freak out again.

Zane had been in many weird situations. This certainly ranked in the top ten. How high it would end up being would depend on how much further the situation would escalate. Zane leaned over the window, concerned for the girl. About to offer to help, Zane stopped himself. He doubted that, based off the events that had occurred so far, that the woman would want to be helped. Well, perhaps want wasn't the best word. Still, he had this idea that directly helping her wouldn't work. Listening to the woman, Zane sighed, putting the pistol back in his pocket and resting his elbow on the windowsill, placing his chin onto his fist as he leaned over and listened to the woman's troubles while watching over her.

The idea of being dead amused Zane. He was just barely not stupid enough to know he wasn't actually in heaven, so his co operation was one mostly born out of boredom and comedy, though at the same time he admittedly wanted to have a conversation with the woman that didn't involve screaming. His life was weird anyways, it would take quite a bit more than this to phase him. For now, he was dead. "Oh, yo. You're dead too, right? Welcome to the afterlife." A smile was put on Zane's face as he thought of the many ways to joke around with this girl, even if he didn't quite know if she was joking around or not too. "I'm god, actually. No need to be alarmed, my humble servant."

Zane could already feel the power trip, something that was actually quite concerning. Still, he had no time to do a semi-ironic self psychoanalysis of himself at the moment. He was god. And he had to look after his precious subject. "Anything you regret in life, my child? Now that you have ascended you must face all of your past grievances." Zane's voice was a bit higher now, almost as if he was imitating a nun. In all honesty it sounded horrible. If this was truly god's voice it might make any priest want to reconsider their faith. "Any past loves you lost a chance at? Life choices you could've made differently? Confess all to me and your sins may be washed away like sand on a sunny beach..."

Zane's face had a hint of nervousness upon the girl's comment on the Grim Reaper. Did he just run into some cultist? He supposed it did kinda match her appearance. "I see..." left his lips softly, still keeping up his poor imitation of a deity. Zane was worried as to what he had gotten himself mixed up with, but he was also curious to actually see how far he could push this. It certainly felt a lot better than meekly flipping through pages of a notebook in an empty hall.

"Everything?" He asked, surprised at the woman's grim outlook. Still, he supposed it did match everything else he knew about her so far. Listening to the girl's laments about her love life, Zane couldn't help but feel a bit of empathy for her, his face turning to a slight frown. He was never the best with the opposite sex either, so he related in many ways. Unbeknownst to him, this whole thing was about to turn a therapy sessions, perhaps for himself rather than the girl in front of him. "I understand your pain. There was a boy I knew once, that I watched from above, who went through similar situations as you did."

"His name was Christian Z- er, Christian Pain." Zane's voice cracked a bit as he caught his mistake, almost giving out his true name. He took a deep breath to remind himself that he was playing a part here, one he intended to win countless awards for. "He was an elf, living in Baska. 17 at the time of this story. Anyways, every summer in Baska, there was this festival. Late august or so, it was meant to show off new crops and the like." As Zane continued on, he got so lost in his story that his voice began to shift back to its normal tone, not even noticing it himself. "Christian was really excited for this festival, you see. There was a girl he really liked that was going. Alicia. She was beautiful, had a good sense of humor, and was insanely intelligent to boot. She was a few years older than Christian was, but Christian turned 18 the night of that evening, you see. Once it was midnight, he'd finally be a full blown man, and he could go and ask Alicia out." Sighing, Zane wondered if he should really be telling this story. It had been over a decade, yet he still felt bummed.

"Anyways, basically, he asked the girl out, but she just laughed at him. She laughed and said she saw him as nothing more than a silly kid." Clearly, irritated, Zane ran his hands through his hair, sighing once more, this time with more frustration behind it. "And now look at me, here I am." The story had made Zane so frustrated that he had now completely dropped the act, not even noticing or caring that he was just speaking his mind at this point. "I'm in the run down building of a guild I've ignored for 2 years, talking to a woman I scared through a window, pretending to be god and whining about old as hell problems. Seriously, if I was 10 years older, this could very well count as a mid life crisis."

Sighing, Zane rubbed his temples. He broke character. No point in trying to go through elaborate schemes to try and hide it now. He just had to pick that story outta all of them.... "Well, the way I see it, there are two possibilities." Holding up the finger to his left in order to dramatically enhance his explanation of this silly situation, Zane continued. "The first is simple. You are not dead, nor am I." This was the logical conclusion that most people would come to. After all, Zane always imagined the afterlife to be a bit more... initially impressive. Where were the pearly gates? The shining light? The cute girls with wings on their backs? Holding up the same finger on his right hand, Zane continued. "Possibility 2 - we are both dead. Though for me, it would certainly only be on the inside." A weak chuckle shortly came from Zane's lips, trying to distract himself from the third-life crisis he was having as of late.

Backing away from the window, Zane faced into the kitchen, sighing once more. The smell was still there, but it didn't even bother him anymore. Crazier things had gone down since then anyways. "I'm sorry if I scared you with the gun or something. There should be a first aid kit in here. You want some help?" he called out to the woman behind him, his eyes and arms directed to a few of the shelves in the guild kitchen in an attempt to fish out the first aid kit. Covering his nose a bit, he finally found a small red bag that seemed like it fit the bill to a T. Letting go of his nose and getting a breath of fresh air as he stuck his head through the window once more, Zane held out the first aid bag while trying to avoid the shards of glass in his way.

"Are you able to patch some of them up yourself? I don't think I should go through this window, but if you reaaally need my help I suppose I can go the long way around." In the end, Zane always did have a habit of assisting girls. This soft spot usually cost him, however. He was sure something else would go terribly wrong, yet he still did it. Why? Why did he hurt himself like this? Did he enjoy the pain? Was it a sort of metaphorical stockholm syndrome? Either way, he lightly tossed the first aid kit down to the woman, it landing just a bit to her side. "What were you doing in the guild hall anyways?" he asked, Zane still on the theory that this woman was homeless or something of the like.

"I'm sure next time will work out better." Zane replied in response to the woman's apparent dissatisfaction with not being deceased. His expression turning to a slight frown, Zane seemed kind of concerned for the woman as she commented on her injuries. "Hey, it's alright. More harmful misunderstandings have happened to me in my lifetime. You really should patch yourself up right away, though. You ain't trying to sneakily die on me by bleeding out, are ya?" he asked, a slight smile on his face. Zane was joking, and he hoped that the woman would take it as a joke, but he wasn't really sure... Zane decided that he would not hesitate to bandage the woman himself should she refuse to treat her wounds. He really didn't feel comfortable with someone dying from his indirect actions. Zane started to recall the first aid training he did a long time ago, scratching his chin as he looked down while he collected his thoughts on the matter in case they were needed.

Once Zane was done thinking, his eyes wandered back to the woman, his face visibly surprised at her new choice of look. "Switching looks, are we? I always did think mummies were a bit scarier than witches." Grabbing a stool from nearby in the kitchen, Zane placed it outside the window, casually sitting on it as he listened to the woman's story. The story of the stench in this place had been cleared up, as was the woman's identity. Zane had been surprised the woman was a guild member. He didn't recognize her, so he assumed that she was an addition while he was away. "Ooooooooh, you're a guild member! Damn, I'm extra sorry about earlier then. I'm part of this guild too. Christian Zane. I'd reach for a handshake or something, but I'd rather glass not impale me." Standing up from the kitchen stool, Zane looked back to the kitchen. Having been a cook for many years, he had certainly seen slightly worse. This certainly was in the top ten, though. Still, it was nothing that his cleaning skills over the years couldn't attempt to fix. It was the least he could do for the guild after being away for so long as well...

Turning back to Mary, Zane waved his hand at her inwards, almost as if to tell her to come in, though obviously not through the smashed window. "Well, I'm gonna clean this up. Come in through the front if you wanna help. Maybe after I can show ya how to make a simple lunch, if you'd like?" In the end, Zane's initial anxiety about being back in the guild had faded. He didn't have to worry about everyone thinking he was weird for vanishing and all, or his more goofy personality. This experience had only told him that there would always be weirder things to find in Fairy Tail.

Zane would usually act a bit more goofy in situations like this. While one could argue some of his actions so far had been goofy already, it would be safe to say that under different circumstances he might have acted a bit wackier in this situation. Why didn't he, then? The anxiety. The nervousness he had from being in the guild hall for long had made him a bit more reserved than usual, the keyword in this particular case being usual. Still, the craziness of the events that had gone down so far had actually helped Zane calm down more. He no longer felt quite as out of place. If wacky things happened it only meant that it was right where he belonged.

Upon Mary's climbing through the glass window, Zane turned to face her, taking a moment to process what just happened. His face grew blank, almost as if he could not properly judge the woman's actions. Needless to say though, the face certainly made it look as though he was judging someone or another. As Mary climbed through the window again, Zane's face remained the same. For a long time Zane had thought about himself in a light that wasn't always bright. He had self confidence in his goofy self, even if sometimes too much. After all, he was amazing. And funny. And certainly more handsome than the person reading this, especially if it's Guest doing the reading. But still, he often had his doubts. Concerns that he was too clumsy. Too careless. He now no longer had to worry as much about that. Zane now was certain he was only the second most clumsy and careless person on this earth.

Continuing to clean up as Mary got through the door, Zane covered his nose as he proceeded to load the contents of the mess into a trash bag. As Mary asked her question, Zane held his finger up to signify that he was heading to the dumpster, asking the girl to wait through signaling. Heading out the back, Zane would toss the trash bag on hastily, walking a few feet away from the pile of garbage and letting out a gasp. A small gag came shortly after. Hoping he would never have to experience such a stench again, he took a moment to catch his breath and headed back inside.

Should Mary still be in the kitchen, Zane would take a moment to pant, the smell still getting to him a bit despite it being mostly absent from the room as of now, leaning against one of the counters and looking in the girls directions. Not quite remembering what Mary asked, Zane assumed it was something about the meal he said he would cook with her earlier. "Well, I got a ton to clean up for today, so maybe another day. But when that day comes, you're gonna be the second best chef in this guild, mark my words." Turning towards the window, Zane knew he would have to scoop some of that up as well. "By the way, just so ya know, don't say anything to the guildmaster about your involvement in that window. I'll take responsibility, don't worry. Trust me, I am most likely much more equipped to take her temper than you are. Besides, there's no way she could get too mad at such a charming guy like me." Zane lied. The guildmaster could get mad at him, charming as he may be. Still, Zane was in a nice mood today. He wanted to show his guildmate how nice he was by taking the blame for her. And if he was lucky, maybe Mary would think he was as cool as he thought he himself was.

Zane was noticeably taken aback for a brief moment upon the girl's sudden shift in tone. She spoke very clearly for a second there, almost as if she was a different person for two words only. Zane was surprised as she managed to uphold it for a bit more, though quickly felt relieved upon the return to her rather shy way of speaking. Zane was sighing internally: the shift in her way of speaking had caught him off guard, which was somewhat rare for Zane. He was used to a bunch of wacky things going on around him, so he didn't expect something like that to get him, but it did. Trying to hide his slight flustered attitude, he cleared his throat and spoke again once the girl stopped. "A-ah, you're right. That's a noble stance to take. But, I will not allow you to shoulder it all yourself. I still pointed a gun at you, and I still yelled at you. I also pretended to be god, though I don't think that's against the guild rules. Probably, at least. I can't remember anything like that on there." Chuckling to himself a little at the god compliment, Zane felt like he was back in his normal state again, a nice change after being temporarily caught off guard.

"Well, I think I need to head out of town pretty soon. Probably tomorrow, actually. Soooo maybe I will let ya broom. I guess if we'll split the blame evenly, we can split the cleaning evenly too, right? I do the kitchen, you do the window?" patting the girl on the shoulder, Zane moved towards the doorframe, not having realized how late it had gotten until the sun outside had begun to set slightly, becoming apparent that it was now the evening. Looking back before he left the kitchen, Zane waved his hand at Mary, smiling back at her as he left some parting words. "I'm gonna go to Myras city pretty soon, there's an important person I need to see there. Make sure to tell the guildmaster what happened, my parts and all. And say hi to her to me, if ya can. She'll probably be shocked I'm even still alive, given how long I've been gone from Magnolia." Nervously laughing to himself, Zane noticed that this was also a good way to avoid her wrath. He'd imagine she would probably beat him up if he talked to her, broken windows or not...

"If I'm ever back in town, I'll cook with you. I know a lotta good recipes: you'll make the whole guild fall in love with your cooking, I promise. See ya around, Mary." And with that, Zane exited the kitchen and soon the guild itself. It was a nice visit. He woulda loved to stick around a bit longer, but he had something he needed to do for now. He would be back as soon as he could. For now, he needed to go to Myras. Zane had to admit that he liked his new guildmate, though. Fairy Tail always was a perfect place for weirdos. Just like him.

EXIT