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Covered in Ashes [Atani]

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#1Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Sun Aug 15, 2021 8:41 pm

Lee Nakamura
The overall situation made her feel more alone. There was still not any news from her family about their condition. Astrid remained quiet even with her letters and calls. Stella was a much different country apart from Fiore or Baska. Wild creatures roamed, making her feel a lot more unsafe with a five year-old running around her. Lee grew more and more spiteful towards her guild. No one had wanted to check up on her nor help her family. Her closest friend was now pronouced dead as well as her grandfather. The memory haunted her still. She stared at the amulet around her neck. It shine with two rubies for the eyes. The wolf head glistened in the raw sunlight.

"You think it's safe to have, Hikari, running around like that?" Ragtime spoke of concern for the girl which made Lee check one more time. Lector, her exceed, was keeping an eye on her as she played in the playground. The thoughts of her being in the Blue Pegasus guild made her shiver. She was afriad of her being shunned or overlooked. Would others protect her if something happened to her? She knew Atani or Raymus would help her out. Manzo...we don't talk about that. The thought came up about Manzo, but Ragtime grew irritated imeediately. "Don't you even think about that! He is not worth your time. You can do so much better besides who fucking forgets someone completely? Doesn't even bother to check on you? The nerve" he spoke within her head. Lee knew he resented Manzo for the past while she did not. Ragtime was chaotic and playful, but grown to become protective of her and Hikari. They had grown on each other for support. "Ragtime, please. Don't jump to conclusions. I have other things to worry about anyways" she assured him. Hikari ran around on the swings as she kicked to go higher. Lector attempted to push her, but got knocked back.

If people saw Lee and Hikari, though would honestly believe they were related. Hikari had her spirit and love for life (when Lee was younger of course), her untamed hair, and her eyes. The young girl was a demi-human, but shark. "I am seriously tired of this life.I cannot get this image out of my head" she whispered to herself. Burying her head in her hands, she admit defeat or wanted her though her daughter wouldn't let her.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.
#2Atani 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Sun Aug 15, 2021 10:30 pm

Atani

Atani Tathvir
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel
- 291 | @ Lee -
As the civil war in Bosco came to a close, people migrated to Stella. Not just the rebels who were stuck on the wrong side of the border, but the foreigners who came to assist too. Atani wouldn't have done so had it not been for Empyrean Divine, however. To bring joy after months of loss, there was a grand celebration being held. Of course there was. That guild was almost as bad as Blue Pegasus.

Being a member of Blue Pegasus, it was expected of Atani to be there for the festivities. Only, she wasn't in the celebratory mood. Not after what she had done in Bosco... Besides, there was more to it than that. She had heard through the grapevine that one of her friends was in a bad spot. This friend was Lee. The two had briefly interacted in Bosco. There was talk of issues among the Nakamura clan, though Atani did not hear all the details. The matter seemed private and she didn't want to overstep her boundaries, but now her friend was hurting, and she was at a loss.

To clear her mind, the Wood Elf decided to take a walk in the foreign country. She passed fields, buildings, neighborhoods... Eventually, as luck would have it, she stumbled upon a park where none other than LeeAnn Nakamura stood. A child who bore a similar resemblance to the kitsune happily played on the swing set. Another Nakamura she guessed. But those were the only two people visible, yet Lee appeared to be talking to someone who wasn't the little girl. Atani's lips turned to a slight frown. It seemed what she had heard was correct.

"Lee?" Atani called to her friend before coming closer. "Is everything alright?"
bloop ♡
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#3Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Sun Aug 15, 2021 10:51 pm

Lee Nakamura
Nothing could take the imagine out of her head. The crazed look in his eyes. The painful howls of Caspien being in pain. Lastly, the image of her grandfather being slaughtered before her. She clietched her hair feeling her emotions becoming stronger. The corrupted spirit sealed in the wolf amulet made her more and more irritated and burdened with negative and horrifying thoughts. Thing she wanted to do to Solomon. She wanted to torture him like he did to her family. Putting his head on a pike, slowly burning his flesh while he was alive. These thoughts scared her. "Ragtime, what's happening? These thoughts are scaring me" she thought.

She was too lost in her thoughts before she jumped hearing a familar voice. Her bright, frost eyes stared at Atani. A wave of relief washed over her. She asked if she was okay. Lee froze. "Atani? What are yo-...oh forgot the event through Emphyrean Divine. If I am being honest, no. I am not okay. Everything went south...my...cousin almost slaughtered everyone in the family. If it weren't my friend Judina...I and my whole family would be dead" she explained. She explained everything such as the puppets Solomon made of her brother, ex-fiance, and dead aunt to mentally fuck with them. She spilled about how he trapped an innocent, peaceful forest spirit into a force contract causing him to become corrupted. How she watched her grandfather get slaughtered in front of her taking an attack for her, sacrificing his own life for her.

"Atani...I am not okay. I am in hiding from my cousin Solomon while...my family is in critical condition. I am stuck with a five year-old hiding in the walls of Emphyrean Divine for her safety. I have a corrupted spirit sealed within my amulet plus Ragtime trying to help me..." she broke down. LeeAnn silently admitted defeat. For the first time, she confessed her problems to someone who would listen. A small weight was lifted off her shoulders. So much had happened since they last saw each other. She took a deep breathe and calmed down. "Let me explain this more clearly. I made a pact with a spirit named Ragtime who has been helping me. While was I trying to find my cousin, who was trying to hurt my family. I finally found him. He...tricked us into a trap. I spent two months searching for answers. When I did, it lead me to Worthwoods Sea. There...he trapped the whole family. Basically, everything that has happened in my life from being tortured by a cult to being used by the Rune Knights was all him. He admitted that he hates me because a half-breed like me shouldn't lead the family. My parents, my cousin Tadashi, my grandfather, and myself were all trapped. Luckily, he didn't fine everybody." Lee paused.

"The purpose of him leading us was to use us as sacrifices to gain entry into the spirit world. I was the main sacrifice. I was chained and couldn't do anything. Right when he explained his plan and casted a deadly spell, my grandfather broke from his chains and took the hit for me, slaughtering him in the process. At that moment, my closest friend, Judina, came in time thanks to Lector and my gryphon getting help. She freed me. Ragtime took over my body. We managed to defeat Solomon, but I was out for several weeks. During the fight, he had a corrupted spirit named Caspien that was a forest spirit. He became corrupted in the process of a force contract. So I sealed him into this amulet. Now...Judina is dead. I have a adopted five year old and hiding like a coward. All of this my fault" she spoke.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.
#4Atani 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Mon Aug 23, 2021 5:36 am

Atani

Atani Tathvir
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel
- 511 | @ Lee -
'Is everything alright' seemed to be a loaded question. The short answer was no. The long answer was, well, exactly the sort of thing you would expect to be surrounding LeeAnn's life: chaos.

The last time they spoke in Bosco, Lee had mentioned having family issues; however, Atani did not know the extent of them until now. Her cousin went on a murderous rampage killing almost every Nakamura in the process. In short, she was stunned. There were no words she could ever say to make something like that better, but she couldn't simply remain silent either.

"Lee... I'm so sorry."

But that wasn't even the worst of it. This Solomon guy made puppets of her family. He forced a spirit into a contract. He even tried to kill Lee, but her grandfather took the hit for her resulting in his untimely death. Now... that left Lee with the same five-year-old who was bouncing around on the playground and a spirit trapped in an amulet, all of which (including the kitsune herself) needed to be hidden from Solomon.

She mentioned this other thing as well, Ragtime. It sounded like a peculiar name for a person, but before Atani could ask, Lee soon began to elaborate. It was not a person, but rather a spirit. A spirit she made a pact with. Atani pursed her lips from the mere mention of it. Pacts, contracts, they were all euphemisms for what it really was. Biologically, it was a symbiotic relationship, one that often left the host with far too little control. Atani would be lying if she said she couldn't understand the allure of it. It felt good to be powerful... but then the spirit would ask if you wanted more than just a little taste of what it could do. You would say yes, and then? Chaos.

The spirit was bad enough. Atani warned Lee about the dangers of them, but something else made her blood boil even more. Solomon hated LeeAnn because she was a 'half-breed.' A woman who wasn't even fully human, but someone who wasn't fully fox either. Atani already hated the man's guts for what he did to the Nakamura clan, but this? This was the icing on the cake. The anger and frustration for this man was evident on the elf's face.

Lee was to be made a sacrifice. Whatever happened during this ritual or whatever followed, it resulted in not just her grandfather's death, but Judina's, the person Atani recalled to be one of Lee's friends. Worst of all though, the kitsune blamed herself for what happened. She called herself a coward for hiding from Solomon.

"You're joking, right?" Atani bluntly asked. She placed a hand on Lee's shoulder. "Look at me," she instructed, "You're not hiding. You're protecting a five-year-old girl who can't defend herself against a monster like Solomon. Anyone would do the same in your shoes, and from what you just told me, you are not to blame for any of this. The only person responsible is your cousin and your cousin alone."
bloop ♡
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#5Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Tue Aug 24, 2021 12:32 am

Lee Nakamura
It was far too late to call her exhausted. She was beyond that. She noticed Atani's reactions to what she had said. Atani, out of all people, knew what she was experiencing with the spirits. She had to hide a five year-old, Caspien, and her family from Solomon. Throwing her own safety out of the window, she began to wither away like a wilting flower. The stress was taking a tole on her body. If only she could rest a little bit, she would. Ragtime had grown tired overtime as well. If she wasn't careful, she would grow sick again. The illness still remained, but she was still capable of having hte effects come back.

Atani's reaction to the final thing made her jump a little. Her fox ears stood straight up, feeling her gentle hand on her shoulder. She said the only person to blame was her cousin and him alone. The words made her feel better. Hearing someone else say that from outside the sitaution. "I haven't felt this broken since...well..my Aunt Paisley died and when Manzo saved my life. Weird how things play out similarly with death and saviors just leave you like that. Manzo forgot about me...now Judina has died. Why do I even bring people into this" she sighed.

Ragtime stirred a little, hearing about Manzo. He really didn't set well with that name. A dark mist surrounded around Atani and LeeAnn. He made himself known to the wood elf. "The difference between Judina and Manzo is one thing. Judina never left and forgot about you. She left you alone because someone else killed you, not you. Manzo forgot about you and left you...there's a huge difference. Heh, don't get me started on Hans, that's even worse" he hissed. LeeAnn glared at the spirit.

"Shut up, Ragtime. Please...dont talk about him that way. He's a good man. Just...things happen. Why are you even here" she asked. The spirit stood, now revealing his full form. A tall, slender creature with a dragon horn on his left and a cat ear on the other. He had a skull mask with a few odd body parts like a long trident tail and a griffin foot on his front right leg. "I'm sorry. You know I feel about people abandoning you. Much like Hans and Kazimir. At least Kazimir had the decency to explain himself and apologize. You deserve better and I aim to achieve that despite...my chaotic nature" he spoke. He gave a stare to Atani. He knew what the wood elf thought of him by reaction alone. "As much as I love a practical joke and love putting my vessel into weird situation like you had witness before, I do put her safety first. There are things I can help as her spirit or 'pact'. Though, there are things I cannot help her with" he spoke. He put LeeAnn and Hikari into a trance. Placing the wood elf into a limbo, he sat down.

"I dont want Lee to hear this because she would feel she would be burdening you. I am a spirit of a chaotic nature, but a chaotic good nature. You're one of the few people she can lean on. Please...there are things you can help her with that I cannot. I am asking you, please...help her in what ways you can" he pleaded. He  bowed his body to her. The creature rose his head and lifted his paw forming a smaller version of the LeeAnn. She looked a lot younger and happier with her elder brother. "What she once knew is crumbling, she feels as if her grip is slipping of her family. The once solid foundation in her life. I have watched her for years silently, I have never meddle with things of that nature. Out of anybody I have met, you're one of the few people that can pull her out of this darkness" he explained. His griffen paw waved seeing a current version of LeeAnn turning into depression with thoughts of guilt and anger.

"People have used her and abandoned her. Hans, her first fiance, tried to kill her. Rune Knights chewed and spat her out for no given reason. Cult...tortured her. Manzo...forgotten about her. Kazimir left her for dead. I have seen a pattern and she loves and looses. When she met you and Raymus, something changed inside her. What I guess is hope and faith of finding that friendship, but she is too scared. I don't expect you to trust me, but I am asking you to trust her" he explained. He broke the trance, causing LeeAnn to return to reality.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.
#6Atani 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Sun Aug 29, 2021 7:41 pm

Atani

Atani Tathvir
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel
- 658 | @ Lee -
Atani's heart skipped a beat at the mention of the name Manzo. Not in a cutesy 'ooh I have a crush' kind of way, but in an 'ah shit, I wish things were easier' kind of way. The girl felt a pang of guilt in her chest as Lee mentioned Manzo having forgotten about her, which was then followed by Lee herself feeling guilty about bringing both Manzo and the deceased Judina into the mess she called a life.

"Whatever happened, they chose to help you," Atani reaffirmed, "... and as far as things with Manzo, let's just say he got a taste of his own medicine."

That feeling of guilt, she feared, was all but appropriate for the elf. Though she knew that she had never joined Blue Pegasus in whatever past life she had, that didn't mean she couldn't have met Manzo during it. Though the chances were slim, it was still possible that she could reunite with the same people she left... And with those very slim chances, she feared that it was the case with her and Manzo, that she was the same 'Kerii' he spoke so fondly yet sadly of.

It seemed Atani was not the only one who found the topic of the one and only Manzo Mattori to be sensitive. The spirit that had briefly shown itself the day it turned Lee from male to female showed itself and began to speak. The Wood Elf jumped back.

"Shut up, Ragtime..."

So the spirit had a name. It was oddly fitting. Though Atani had not gotten a good look at the spirit when it first revealed itself to her, she could now see that it was like a patchwork of several animals. A hybrid, if you will. A little girl like Hikari might even say it looked like one of their rag dolls.

Ragtime talked to Lee. He did not like people abandoning her. For one reason or another, the name Kazimir came up... The same Kazimir who was Fairy Tail's guildmaster? No, it couldn't be. But then the spirit looked to Atani. He explained that while he enjoyed causing chaos-- the switching of Lee's genders, for instance-- he still valued her safety. Then, for her own mental safety, he put both the kitsune and the little girl who accompanied her into a trance. At first, Atani looked to them, alarmed to see Hikari stop playing and for Lee to stand placidly; however, Ragtime soon explained that this was merely so Lee would not have to know what he was about to tell her-- or ask her, rather. He wanted her to help LeeAnn.

"Help her? But how?"

Ragtime showed the elf an image of Lee. As her life started to crumble around her, she went from a happy young girl to nothing more than a shadow of her former self, and Atani of all people was who Ragtime believed could pull Lee out from the darkness.

"Me?" she asked, hand falling to her chest in a display of disbelief. The very person who forgot about her old life, the kind of thing that left Lee in pieces when it came to Manzo? The very person who couldn't control her magic and ended up hurting people in the process? That was the kind of person Ragtime thought could help LeeAnn?

The spirit didn't answer. Instead, he spoke of all the atrocities that had been done to Lee to eliminate her trust in others. After all the torture, after all the hardship, Lee was finally able to see the light in both Atani and Raymus... hence why their new guild was to consist of them. Having said all that, Ragtime figured it was enough, but the elf was not yet satisfied. She hadn't even gotten the chance to voice her protest.

"Please, I want to help, I really do. I just don't think..." Midway through her plead, LeeAnn and Hikari began to stir. "Oh."
bloop ♡
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Covered in Ashes [Atani] Lu7gGv2
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#7Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Sun Aug 29, 2021 11:46 pm

Lee Nakamura
She noticed Atani's behavior when she mentioned Manzo. It seemed to be a sore subject for both of them. To put more salt in the wound, she was reminded of what had happened that night. There was so much regret in her heart since then. Lee should have known better to not let her feelings get the best of her. Though, now she knew better to let something like a crush cause her to fall into despair. Death was never an obstacle that she could overcome very easily. It took her a year to figure out how to accept her Aunt's death and now two at the same time? She really was stumped.

Atani mentioned he was getting the taste of his own medicine. She stared at the wood elf a little confused. "What do you mean by that? Did something happen? I hope he's okay" she spoke. Lee still deeply cared for him in a certain way, but not in the way most would think. Ragtime still held a grudge against him. Manzo was complicated.

"Like...I am going to be honest. Manzo is a good guy, he is. He saved my life when I was literally on my death bed after a horrible fight" she spoke. She had turmoil with how he just forgotten about her like a dusty old toy. "I...I don't know. I care about him very much, but there's nothing there between us as much as I want there to be. I have to move on for the sake of my family and the guild" she explained. For god's sake, she spent 'the night' with him.

Ragtime snapped his finger. Once he explained everything, he stared at Atani into the eyes. "Be someone she can trust. Be a friend, as simple as that" he spoke. The spirit pleaded with his eyes. When life slowly returned, Hikari resumed playing and giggling with LeeAnn continuing about her life. The redhead felt a stirring sensation inside her magical aura. Her eyes stared at Atani. She knew Ragtime did something, but couldn't put her finger on it. The spirit had vanished since he used most of his mana to create that trance. He had to recharge.

"Ragtime did something didn't he? Already feel him getting weaker. Anyways, Atani...what's your relation with Manzo, if you don't mind me asking" she asked. The kitsune was honestly curious, but wasn't going to press for information. Manzo seemed to confuse both of them. There was a hesitation in her voice when she asked, but managed to spit it out. "All my life, people come and go, but my family is the one thing that's always been constant. Something I hope the guild would be for me as well" she commented.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.
#8Atani 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Mon Aug 30, 2021 8:28 pm

Atani

Atani Tathvir
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel
- 400 | @ Lee -
"No, no. Manzo's okay, trust me," Atani said in reassurance. Considering how every one of their interactions went though, it was hard to define what 'okay' was. "Someone who was close to him left without a word years ago... It seems likely that within those few years, they've forgotten about him."

She would explain no further. All of that was between herself and Manzo.

• • •

An uneasy feeling settled over Atani as Ragtime's corporeal form faded away into the air. His words echoed in her head: "Be someone she can trust." How the hell could she do that when she didn't even trust herself?

She watched as both Hikari and Lee returned to their animated state, completely unfazed by what had just occurred. The little demihuman continued happily running around the playground as if she hadn't been frozen in time just moments before. Even Lee only had a creeping suspicion that something was amiss. In fact, she quickly brushed off the topic altogether in favor of discussing Manzo.

"My-- My relationship with Manzo?" Gods that was a loaded question. "We're close," she began, pausing to carefully select her next words. "... We've shared similar experiences, so he became a good person to rely on when I was still getting acclimated to Fiore."

Yes, that seemed to be the most sound explanation. In reality, their relationship was a lot deeper than just that, though that was a conversation to have at a different time provided she even figured out what exactly was going on between her and the Slayer. Needless to say, amidst her own confusion regarding Manzo, she was thankful Lee switched the topics once more to something that appeared to have been on her mind for a while now. The unfortunate thing was though, Atani wasn't sure she could relate to Lee's sentiment.

"I've been looking for stability too," she conceded. She thought Blue Pegasus would bring that to her, but it resulted in quite the opposite impact. "I didn't quite find it in Hargeon, but I'm hopeful it'll be different in Astera." And then came for the part that differed between herself and LeeAnn. "Honestly? I'm not sure what sort of expectations I have out of our guild. I've heard they're supposed to be like a second family, but I don't know what that's even supposed to feel like. I don't have family like you, Lee. I never have."
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Covered in Ashes [Atani] Lu7gGv2
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#9Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Tue Aug 31, 2021 3:09 pm

Lee Nakamura
She listened to every word the wood elf had spoken. There was some hesitation she read from the person next tp her. Though, she didn't blame Atani since she too was cautious about what information she shared when she was in the right headspace. Manzo always gave her that weird aura. How she hid the whole time in her barn without telling her. Zalor, her gryphon, didn't even know was odd. She could never get a good read on his intentions or thought process like she could with most people. She turned away from her to stare at Hikari. "What I am about to say stays between us and only us. Manzo saved my life. I owe him that, but don't expect much from him like love or anything like that. He's a good friend, but don't expect a relationship from him. I should know, I did that exact same and got hurt. He's a good guy, but I am warning you. Don't want someone else to experience what I did" she spoke. She only said this for the benefit of Atani. The kitsune grew more sorrowful seeing as her family was still in the hospital. She felt it was more of her fault this time.

Atani explained how she came to Fiore with Manzo's help. Already, she got the message that Atani had been alone for a lot of her life here. Manzo was one of the few she could cling to. Personally, Lee was very lucky to have such as great family and she knew that. Though, it made it all the harder to accept the fact one of the members was gone. There was some silence as she explained even further how she had no idea what family feels like and she was considered lucky. The kitsune felt bad for her and had a bit of guilt for even being upset a moment ago. "Family...feels like a warm sunny day out in the park. You feel happy, loved, and warm. You feel safe, but once the dark clouds roll over that goes away. It's a sense of people you can rely on no matter what the cost is. They are there for each other and give a sense of belonging. I feel that way with mine and...my brother, Hikaru. He was always there for me" she explained. She leaned back into her seat to look at the sky. Some more silence prevailed on them before she explained even more. "The thought of losing anyone close to you devastates you. How I feel right now" she explained.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.
#10Atani 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Mon Sep 13, 2021 4:06 pm

Atani

Atani Tathvir
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel
- 382 | @ Lee -
Atani shared what she could about her relationship with Manzo. It was a complex tale to tell, hence why she kept the details to herself. She told Lee all what she needed to hear. Nothing more, nothing less. Her friend, on the other hand, was not afraid to get personal with it.

"What I am about to say stays between us and only us."

The elf gave a silent nod. She listened intently to what was said about what happened between LeeAnn and Manzo. Evidently, he saved her life... perhaps not unlike how Kerii saved his. Lee warned her not to expect anything romantic to come from her and Manzo. Whatever happened between the two Dragon Slayers, it resulted in pain. Looking back on what she knew of Manzo's past, that seemed to be a common theme that followed in his wake.

"I don't want any sort of relationship. Not now anyway," she gave a short sigh and shook her head as she remembered their latest encounter on the beach. "Not with Manzo, not with anyone... but I'll keep that in mind if anything does change." Not that she thought it would, but you never knew.

• • •

Atani clenched her fist and bit the inside of her mouth as she she gently pursed her lips together. She understood Lee's intention. She associated family, something Atani had never experienced, to things that she had experienced and could extrapolate feelings from. While that could be something of benefit to others, it was not so to the forgotten elf.

"The thought of losing anyone close to you devastates you."

She didn't even have anyone close to her. She wasn't afraid of loss, not like that. She was, however, afraid of being unwanted, and at the moment? She wasn't sure if it was safe for her to be wanted. Even so, she couldn't help but feel drawn toward any sense of belonging. And she hated herself for that.

"I get how that can be scary... If anything comes up, you don't have to deal with it alone. I know you don't want people dragged into your messes, but I don't want to see you get hurt either. If you ever need anything, please, just reach out. I'll be there."

And now she hated herself that much more.
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#11Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Mon Sep 13, 2021 8:00 pm

Lee Nakamura
LeeAnn observed the wood elf's behavior very carefully. She wasn't book smart like Atani, but she was very good a reading behavior and a talented tactician when her mind was clear. In many other's opinions, she wasn't afraid to admit defeat when it was nessciary. She still had a lot to learn about leading a clan and a guild, but she had others to help her where she wasn't strong in. The wood elf took her advice. The kitsune paused.

She grew more serious. LeeAnn had noticed a sense of hesitation in her voice. Something that probably Atani couldn't really bare to see. After she told her what family felt like, Atani seemed to have some darkness in her eyes. Reflecting emotion. Emotion that only Lee could know and/or understand. She was a empathetic person when she got vulnerable with someone she sought fit. Atani became more determined to be there for her. LeeAnn smiled. "Thank you, my friend. I really could use the company, but I feel as though you need the same thing. As I talk to you, I notice some...hesitaiton behind what you say. Atani, I will be clear. You're someone I can completely trust. I know it, but do you trust me? I want you as my ace, as my friend, as my comrade. If there's something on your mind, speak up. Don't hide it, it only tears you apart til you have nothing left. I should know" she spoke.

The kitsune stared at her daughter. Seeing that little girl laugh was the only joy she needed in these dark times. As long as Hikari was safe and happy, that's all she cared about. Though, now, Atani's happiness become another source of concern. She was one of the few people Lee could depend on completely. "I am sorry if I seem so up front, but if you need, anything, I mean anything. Tell me. I dont care if I am going through trauma. I will pull through, I have peoplei in my life I have learned to trust, but I feel you are holding back on something preventing you from relaxing. This is my hunch though, I could be entirely wrong. Call it...a mother intuition" she spoke.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.
#12Atani 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Sat Sep 25, 2021 10:47 pm

Atani

Atani Tathvir
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel
- 375 | @ Lee -
The elf's muscles tensed as she heard what Lee said. Though Atani always tried her best to withhold her self doubt when speaking to others, it appeared her front did not hold as well as she hoped. Lee saw right through it. Her hesitation was the dead giveaway. Unfortunately, that was not something she could easily avoid when it was necessary for her to gather her thoughts before articulating them in the way she intended. The thing about hesitation though, it could mean anything. LeeAnn had no way of knowing the thoughts that were contained within her mind. She wanted to know if she could trust Atani.

"I want you as my ace, as my friend, as my comrade."

... her Ace?

"... I have people in my life I have learned to trust, but I feel you are holding back on something... "

The girl pursed her lips. Worry lines creased at the spot above her nose. Green eyes darted to the side as they refused to meet LeeAnn's. "I trust you, Lee." That much she knew how to say. She took a deep breath to quell her emotions before proceeding.

"I want to be someone you can trust. I want to be someone our guild can trust, but..." Her voice trailed timidly into silence. She was reluctant to speak further, but she knew she couldn't just leave their conversation at that. If Lee really wanted to make her the Ace of the guild, she should know who she's appointing that position. "I don't see how I can be that person if I don't trust myself."

People said letting things off your chest made you feel better. It didn't. Not in this case. Saying it out loud only brought a surge of emotions Atani was not prepared to face. The overbearing amount of shame and guilt crashed into her the hardest.

"I've hurt people, Lee." She folded her arms across her chest and held them tight against her body. "My magic is from the result of a dark spirit and I can't control it. It's powerful. Really powerful. I'm afraid the moment I step foot into battle with you or Ray, I'll end up hurting you too. I don't want to be a threat to the guild."
Coupon 37/60
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Covered in Ashes [Atani] Lu7gGv2
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#13Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:46 pm

Lee Nakamura
She listened. The wood elf had darkness like everyone else in this whole world. This day in age everyone's hands were blood-soaked. Some were more dirtier than others. Lee's were covered in damages from torture, being a Rune Knight, and many other things. Most were understandable, but others were not. The kitsune watched her future ace basically mentally crumble under the pressure Lee was giving unintentionally with her eyes. Atani didn't even needed to speak a word for her to understand everything she was about to say. Her body spoke for her. Back when she was younger, her father and grandfather were in wars and battles to the point they had to kill people. She knew the weight it laid upon them to this day that they would fight tooth and nail for their family. Lee's father basically was a helicopter parent after she returned from being kidnapped. In many ways, Lee was very blessed in hidden ways.

Atani became very timid. Though, slowly she spoke about everything on her mind. She want to be reliable and dependable for her, but there were many things she was unsure about. The more LeeAnn listen, the more she now understood. Lee, herself, had never take a life, but for sure has tortured souls wishing for death. In some cases, she was worse off. It was never easy from what she heard from Manzo and her own family. Though, she could only imagine. The thought of that much weight on one's shoulders from the beginning is only unimaginable. She thought for a few minutes before coming up with something. "In a situation like yours, it's never easy. There will be no words that can help, but time. Time is the only cure for something like this" she started. LeeAnn thought back to how mentally weak she was and still is to her previous 'illness' and now with the corrupted spirit, Caspien, calling her mind home or trying to.

"There was something my brother once said to me years ago. You have a choice in everything you do, even when it doesn't feel like it. You can let this eat you up and make you feel helpless or you can fight. This dark spirit. This guilt. It's only weighing you down, Atani. Nor Manzo, nor Raymus, nor I can truely know your pain 100%, but as a friend and guildmaster, it's bet to find a way to help those in need. Let me be that shoulder you can lean on 100% and you'd be mine" she spoke. Both of her hands were on the wood elf's shoulders with their eyes meeting face-to-face. LeeAnn shifted her emotions to help Atani. "Look at me, Atani. Don't droop your eyes. You cannot keep holding these emotions back. They will only destroy you from the inside out til' you attempted to commit suicide right off the face of the earth. You're friend was the only one able to help you. Don't do what I did! Please! You have to let this out, let nature take its course. What's done is done. Only marching forward to a brighter future" she spoke. She was being a little persistant with the encouragement. Though, her eyes spoke of personal pain wishing no one would do what she had done. When her aunt had died from an illness, she left the family and left with Manzo. After Manzo abandon her, she was at her lowest point. Zalor, her gryphon mount, was the only one that stopped her that day from doing that act.

"You have a lot to live for. When my aunt died, I left my family to be with Manzo. After he abandon me, I was so down and dark that I almost ended it multiple times, but my gryphon stopped me from doing it each time. I have never told anyone this before" she spoke.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.
#14Atani 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Tue Oct 19, 2021 11:16 am

Atani

Atani Tathvir
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel
- 266 | @ Lee -
Time.

That's all anyone ever said would be the cure to her ailments. 'Your memory will return in time.' 'Your magic will improve with time.' 'You'll adjust to your new life in time.' But from where Atani stood, it seemed like the more time she gave everything, the worse they got. The worse they got, the longer they took to solve. It was an endless cycle the elf had yet to find a way to break from.

Atani tensed as Lee's hands fell to her shoulders. Her arms fell down by her side. Reluctantly, she allowed her eyes to meet LeeAnn's. They widened as Lee began to come to rather concerning conclusions about Atani's state of mind. They couldn't be further from the truth for how she felt in the present moment.

"No, no, Lee. You've got it all wrong." She took the kitsune's hands from her shoulders and placed them low in front of her body. "I'm not going to slit my wrists or jump off a bridge. I'm not depressed. I'm scared."

She took a deep breath in and let it out as a quiet sigh. She understood why Lee would be concerned. Before now, she hadn't realized that the kitsune had struggled so much with those sorts of dark thoughts. In the end, all she was doing was looking out for a friend so they wouldn't have to experience what she did.

"I wanted to try and handle this on my own, but I don't think that's possible anymore. You don't think... your experience with spirits could help in any way, could it?"
bloop ♡
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Covered in Ashes [Atani] Lu7gGv2
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#ffe666 - Fiorian #ccc666 - Elvarin #999966 - Val'Elvarin
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#15Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Wed Dec 29, 2021 11:24 pm

Lee Nakamura
She looked at Atani who was begging for help. Her experience between her and her spirits was always interesting between a corrupted spirit and a chaotic spirits. Of course, she thought the worse of any situation. LeeAnn stared at her friend and sighed. Inside, she felt silly for thinking such things, but guess it was nice to have people who thought way. It proved they cared? No one knew what she was thinking. Atani was a person who was rational and was the complete opposite between her and Lee. There was a reason why she wanted her to be her personal right hand man. Her cheeks grew a little rosy from embarrassment. "Oh...sorry. Didn't meant to go that far" she spoke, biting her lip.

"Thing is with magic and spirits, its mind over matter. I will help you with your problem. Afterall, you are my friend. It's what we do" she spoke. She felt it was odd the person with background with nature and forest spirits was having trouble. Though, she wasn't complaining. Her friend needed help and she was going to help even if killed her. She had to get more information in order to help her friend. "So tell more information, what exactly is going on?" she asked.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.
#16Atani 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Fri Dec 31, 2021 2:13 pm

Atani

Atani Tathvir
Bâd gurth vi ngalad firiel
- 184 | @ Lee -
Mind over matter, that was rich. Maybe it was that easy for Lee, but for Atani whose mind was anything but fully intact, she figured such a task would prove to be exceedingly difficult without the help of her lost memories. Speaking of which... it seemed like it was time for her to admit just that to Lee. If not for the fact she needed help, she owed it to her future guild master as the Ace.

"Well... truth be told, I don't think I fully understand what's going on myself. A couple years ago, I woke up in Athalran with some amnesia. I hardly remember anything from a time before that, but whatever is going on with this spirit, it happened then. I don't know what I did then to fuse with it. I don't know why I did it, what kind of magic it involves, nothing."

It felt good to get that off her chest. But at the same time, she was worried that her explanation would not provide much help to LeeAnn. If anything, she feared it just further complicated things.
bloop ♡
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Covered in Ashes [Atani] Lu7gGv2
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#ffe666 - Fiorian #ccc666 - Elvarin #999966 - Val'Elvarin
#9b2222 - Sinese

#17Lee Nakamura 

Covered in Ashes [Atani] Empty Wed Jan 26, 2022 12:13 am

Lee Nakamura
The demi-human probably didn't understand anything that was being said or fully could place herself into her shoes. The woman took a minute to think about what else she could help her friend do with the situation. For a moment, she thought back when she had amnesia at one point. At the time, her ex-fiancé was with her and no one else. Maybe Kon, but would he already knew who she was back then? She was a completely different person physically and mentally. Whatever the situation maybe, she knew this was a heavy weight on the elf's shoulders to carry such a huge burden. 

All she could do was listen to Atani. The only thing she could offer as a friend and comrade. After she felt that it was taken off her chest, LeeAnn laid a hand on her shoulder to assure she wasn't alone. "You're secret is safe with me, Atani. We'll figure this out eventually. I bet you will be able to find some sort of clue" she smiled. It wasn't much, but it was all she could think of to say that was somewhat comforting. They were both going through a lot right now and needed each other. That was the biggest thing for both of them. Neither one of them could sit down and suffer alone, might as well suffer together.



Covered in Ashes [Atani] Tumblr_oua5s27DHT1v5lsxco4_r1_500
Character Sheet
One must emulate both the fox and the lion, because a lion cannot defy a snare, while a fox cannot defy a pack of wolves.

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