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Alistair's Starting Spells

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#1Alistair 

Alistair's Starting Spells Empty Sun May 30, 2021 1:59 pm

Alistair
Name: Aegis
Rank: D
Mana Cost: 25
Type: Defensive
Element: Light
Range: 5 Meters
Cooldown: 1 Post
Duration: Sustain
Effect: With a firm stance and perceptive mind you stretch out your hand and cast forth Aegis. A golden 0.25-meter diameter magic circle expands from the center of your palm and stretches out to your aid materializing a 0.25-meter diameter round shield with a 1 C-ranked durability. Though golden in color its translucency gives away star-like glyphs etched from within its luminous structure.

Name: Judgement
Rank: D
Mana Cost: 25
Type: Healing
Element: Light
Range: 5 Meters
Cooldown: 1 Post
Duration: Instant
Effect: Through the clutching of both hands as if in prayer a round, golden, 1-meter diameter magical circle materializes beneath your feet. Numerous soft and translucent orbs of light collect around your radius. The spell then breaks into a magical miasma that mends the overall wounds of the worthy. The unworthy, instead, are stricken with a blazing light taking D-rank damage.

Name: Gentle Leap
Rank: D
Mana Cost: 25
Type: Supplementary-lunge
Element: Light
Range: 5 meters
Cooldown: 1 Post
Duration: Instant
Effect: With your feet parallel to each other and sheer willpower you redirect magical energy beneath your feet, materializing a bright, round, 0.25-meter diameter magic circle. These plates reflect and refract light giving it a gleaming golden look. The user may lunge off of this temporary platform before it quickly dissipates like a puddle that was abruptly stepped on.

Name: Blind Step
Rank: D
Mana Cost: 25
Type: Supplementary-dodge
Element: Light
Range: 5 meters
Cooldown: 1 Post
Duration: Instant
Effect: While running, you close your eyes, and in an instant, a golden 0.25-meter diameter magic circle materializes upfront and midair. As long as there are no obstacles in your way, the magic circle quickly dissipates, instantly enveloping you in light. At this point, visible waves of magic carry you forward, dashing you ahead up to five meters of distance.



Last edited by Alistair on Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:08 am; edited 11 times in total

#2Tempris 

Alistair's Starting Spells Empty Thu Jun 24, 2021 1:29 pm

Tempris

Salutations,

Im sorry for the long wait. Due to the amount of spells you have. Lets go through them one at a time.

1. Do you plan to train or buy these spells. (all your spells)
(for Aegis spell only though feel free to edit your other spells base off this feed back)

2. The spell origin is confusing. One part of the spell says it appears anywhere. The other part saids it appears out of your hand.

3. The description and flavor text is really confusing the important information for the spell.

The target of the spell does not align with the spell motion, since the spell can appear anywhere. (though he does say it comes out of his hand...)

4. The descriptions of the spell really should be grouped together. Like everything regarding the spell casting motion she be in one spot. Everything regarding the spell's creation and motion should be in one spot.

5. The spell motion is potentially confusing since there are "requirements" added to it such having to talk. Though its unclear if you have to talk but the flavor text makes it seem so.

6. Everything in the regs is measured in meters. So all the measurements should also be listed in meters... or centimetres at least.

7. It doesn't mention spell circles

8. It should say the durability of the shield (which would be C-rank Durability)

9. You needs to say if the spell can move or not since it fits the size parameters and could arguably be treated as a shield giving its shape and how it may come out.(edited)

Please bump this thread when you make the requested changes.



Alistair's Starting Spells Charlotta-granblue-stance-by-ucantw1n Let all heretics be purged by my holy flames.
Tempris Ashflare #ff3366
#3Tempris 

Alistair's Starting Spells Empty Tue Aug 10, 2021 6:00 pm

Tempris

Aegis:
1. Your spell dimensions need to be listed in meters not Inches.

2. What does this line mean "your faith made manifest through the light of I'llumin."

#4Tempris 

Alistair's Starting Spells Empty Sun Aug 15, 2021 11:05 pm

Tempris

Awesome, all you need now is the HP of the shield and we can move on to the next spell



Alistair's Starting Spells Charlotta-granblue-stance-by-ucantw1n Let all heretics be purged by my holy flames.
Tempris Ashflare #ff3366
#5Alistair 

Alistair's Starting Spells Empty Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:22 am

Alistair
I added the spell's shield HP :D What's next?

#6Tempris 

Alistair's Starting Spells Empty Tue Aug 17, 2021 8:15 pm

Tempris

you need a magic circle where you plan to plan to cast the spell as well for your second spell



Alistair's Starting Spells Charlotta-granblue-stance-by-ucantw1n Let all heretics be purged by my holy flames.
Tempris Ashflare #ff3366
#7Alistair 

Alistair's Starting Spells Empty Wed Aug 18, 2021 3:32 am

Alistair
The spells have magical circles written on them

#8Tempris 

Alistair's Starting Spells Empty Thu Aug 19, 2021 12:02 pm

Tempris

you havent added the second magic circle to your Judgement spell



Alistair's Starting Spells Charlotta-granblue-stance-by-ucantw1n Let all heretics be purged by my holy flames.
Tempris Ashflare #ff3366

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