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Get Trolled [Open] Empty Sat Apr 10, 2021 8:14 pm

"Isn't it so exciting to be outside of Fiore, Beelzebub?" Zane asked, leisurely taking steps throughout the forests of the Udgard Wilds, his rather nonchalant attitude definitely contrasting with the creepy sensation of being in the middle of nowhere. "I can't say it is, Zane. Back in Fiore there was art. There was culture. All of it was inferior Earthlandian culture to me of course, but at least it was SOMETHING. The wilds here are about as uninteresting and desolate as your brain."

Zane chuckled. "Somebody woke up on the wrong side of our soul today, eh?" Still, Beelzebub did have a point. The forest sure looked pretty, but it was just a forest so far. Nothing too interesting about it other than its visuals. Zane had been wandering out here for quite a while too - it had been about 10 hours since he departed from the small village the two were at the other day. "What in the world made you want to just wander the wilderness out of nowhere anyways?" Beelzebub inquired, the decision being particularly out of nowhere even by Zane standards. "I dunno! Don't think too hard on it, man. We're the comic relief characters. We can get away with not making sense sometimes, right?"

A few more hours passed as Zane dragged his feet through the forest, the sun starting to set just a little bit. He thankfully had a backup plan in case he got totally lost. The village that Beelzeub and Zane had rested at the night before was located at the base of a mountain with a rather peculiar shape, one that could be recognized from far off. If all else failed Zane could at least fall back to the village eventually, and he could spend a night in the tent he brought along if need be. Kicking a nearby rock and sending it flying into a tree, Zane sighed in intense boredom. "I really wish this forest wasn't s-" A loud rumble interrupted Zane's complaining his feet actually thrown somewhat off balance. It didn't feel like an earthquake. Zane's heart pounded as he grabbed onto a nearby tree, peeking his eyes out from behind it as he tried to get a good idea of what caused that tremor. "Didn't the villagers mention something about monsters in the forest?" Beelzebub asked, a memory of the sort definitely coming to Zane's mind as well.

And that was when he saw it.

Green. Massive. Wearing a giant fur tunic that had been worn down by the elements for what seemed to have been decades. Bearing a giant club in one hand and the corpse of a deer in the other. Zane's eyes widened, impressed by the sheer size of the creature he was viewing. It was at least 50% taller than Zane was. Definitely not as muscular though. "Don't try to bullshit in your 3rd person inner monologues! It's definitely at least twice as muscular as you are!" Zane was willing to estimate it was about on par with him... maybe. Still, that big wooden club in the troll's hand would definitely crack Zane open in half a second. Probably best not to go anywhere near that thing. Zane watched it walk off, eventually seeing the troll fade off between the trees. Zane let out a relieved sigh. "Phew."

The troll instantly turned around to look in Zane's direction. "Oh. Right. This forest is empty." Zane reminded himself. Any sound was probably twice as loud here when compared to the insanely densely populated streets of Fiore. The troll began to walk much faster towards Zane's tree, it becoming almost immediately clear to Zane that he probably wouldn't be able to outrun this thing. Oh god. Was this it? Was this how he died? Wait.. unless... "You're going to transform in Beelzanebub and fly out of here? Good idea."

Oh. That was a good idea. It was a bad thing that Zane's body had already went with his initial plan, his body stepping out from behind the trees as he clearly showed himself to the troll, the beast slowing down as it saw the figure in front of it, curious. "Hey, big guy! Wanna talk?" Zane asked, wondering if this was actually going to be the moment he died. It was especially bad since his corpse would most likely never be found on account of this being the middle of nowhere and all. "Hey little guy." The troll replied, its voice sounding a lot more... cute than Zane expected. Zane blinked. Zane stared at the troll for a while longer, almost entirely in disbelief. He had so many questions. "Oh, so you can talk? But wait... how do you speak Fiorian? Aren't you in the middle of Iceberg?

"Us trolls are kind of the comic relief monsters. We can get away with not making sense sometimes, right?" Oh. Zane supposed that was a decent point. "Why are you out here anyways, Fiorian man?" The troll dropped both the club and the corpse it was carrying gently upon the ground, taking a seat against a nearby tree in a rather casual way. Zane chuckled nervously and decided to do the same, still somewhat fearing for his life. "I... was looking for adventure, I guess. Not much adventure to be had here though - just a lot of empty trees." The troll nodded. "Yeah, I feel you. I've been living here all my life. Sometimes I wish I could go and live in the big troll city - I bet a lot happens there."

"There's a troll city?" Zane asked, a look of doubt on his face. "I mean, there must be, right? My little troll tribe can't be the only group out there. There's gotta be like a Troll York or Trollonto out there somewhere." Zane did supposed that made sense. Beelzebub thought it made absolutely zero sense. "My name's Trollson. You?"

"I'm Zane. Christian Zane, but nobody actually cares about the first name." Zane doubted that Trollson even knew what a first name was. The conversation grew silent for a minute. It made Zane especially nervous. After what seemed to be thinking on his part Trollson eventually spoke again. "Hey, can you do me a favor?" Trollson asked. "I need you to start a fire. I wanna cook this deer, you see. Do you have something that could start one up in there?" Trollson pointed to the large backpack Zane wore. It did indeed have the materials needed to set up a campfire in there. Zane looked back to his pack. He would probably die if he refused...

About 10 minutes later Zane had finally set up the campfire, its smoke rising up into the evening sky. It was probably the only notable bit of smoke for as far as the eye could see right now, bar any sort of smoke one could see by the mountain side village. At this point Trollson was starting to prepare the deer for roasting, making what were actually surprisingly advanced steps in doing so considering the fact that he was, well, a troll. "You'll help me cook this, right?" Trollson asked as Zane had finally gotten a moment to relax. "A-ah, of course." Zane nervously replied, stepping towards the Trollson. Oh god. Zane wanted to try to get out of this without having to resort to fighting Trollson but he still couldn't get a good read on him yet. He had a feeling that it would be a pretty hard fight even after transforming into Beelzanebub...

All Zane could hope for was that someone out there with the same adventurous spirit as him would see the smoke rising from his fire and decide to check it out. Or that Trollson wasn't dangerous at all and let him go after they cooked the deer. One of the two.


Get Trolled [Open] Empty Fri Apr 16, 2021 6:09 am

Four days. Ninety-six hours. Three hundred and forty five thousand, six hundred seconds. That's how long Odin had been in the Udgard Wilds in his native land of Iceberg: peaceful and content to relax and exist in the snowy wasteland that, despite having never visited, he felt a certain sense of kinship with. He had ventured out of Fiore perhaps a week ago, after hearing that the borders of Iceberg had been reopened, closed for many months due to the harsh winter of the land. With his life having reached a lulling point since the formation of his guild, Eternal Nightmare, he had wanted to get out for a time. Ever since he had stolen a key from a dragon's tomb in Sieghart, the magic protecting the key aging Odin's mind for one hundred years, he had felt a strange mix of urgency and patience, which was hard for him to comprehend. His goal to resurrect his goddess had no direct time limit, as it was something Odin could spend the rest of existence preparing for, and yet he wished for nothing more than to reach that goal as quickly as possible. And yet here he was, in a country he had never once lived in, finding the closest thing to a sense of calm that the Lich had ever experienced.

That is, until Zane happened.

A deep rumble echoed throughout the wilderness, prompting Odin to waken from the trance state he had managed to enter a few days prior. Suffice to say, he was not entirely pleased by this. Taking a deep breath, unsuccessfully trying to calm himself, the Lich got up and started walking to where all the noise was coming from. As he walked, he noticed something that seemed rather strange for the area: a glaring obvious campfire. For an area where man-eating trolls apparently roamed, sending plumes of smoke into the air seemed like a terrible idea. If nothing else, it drove Odin to press on. After all, he had never seen a troll eat another man, perhaps it would be entertaining?

Arriving at the source of the smoke, Odin sighed once more at the sight before him, for it was both the most ridiculous scene he had ever witnessed and exactly what he should've expected. Zane, and by extension Beelzebub of course, were cooking a deer with the assistance of a troll. Actually, it would be more appropriate to call Zane the assistant. I will truly never understand if Zane was put in my path by the gods who support me or the ones who loathe me. This thought echoed throughout Odin's mind as he approached the two, making sure to approach from the front so as not to startle the troll. Or, at least, not to startle him more than just having a skeleton walk up to him.

"Something smells delicious."


Get Trolled [Open] Empty Sun Apr 25, 2021 9:59 pm

Zane shuddered as he turned around to see a familiar face. "Technically it's not a face..." Beelzebub commented, Zane dropping the improv stone knife he was holding in surprise. "Stop being a smartass!" Zane quipped back, somehow managing to do that and be surprised at the same time. Having a demon living inside your head certainly did grant an almost inhuman level of multitasking. "Odin!" Zane remarked, a special kind of happiness in his face and voice. This wasn't the type of happiness that screamed 'oh, my old friend! good to see you!' but rather the type to scream 'HELP HELP HELP SOS SOS SOS' at what was honestly an uncomfortably loud figurative volume.

"You mean Bill?" Trollson asked, the beast already having faced Odin's direction. Zane gave the troll a puzzled look. "That's Odin. Who the hell is Bill?" Trollson shrugged a little. "A lich who lives 'round these parts. They all look the same, really." Zane backed up a little bit from Trollson, putting his hands up in an offended fashion. "Woah, woah!" Zane couldn't believe his eyes! Was this really happening? In current year?! "That's racist as hell, man! You can't just say that anymore!" Zane spoke in a tone that was unusually hurt considering that he wasn't even a lich himself. "They're skeletons. They all look the same, Zane." Beelzebub remarked, Zane getting offended a second time - internally now. "You know what? I expect that from you now, Beelzebub. You demons are all like that."

"Wait... but isn't THAT racist?" Beelzebub asked, Zane scoffing both internally and externally. "Don't twist my words against me! This is what you always do! Ever since the day we met!"

Zane and Beelzebub were now engaged in a rather heated debate inside their head, one that any potential spectator would comment seemed like the bickering of an old married couple. Not that there could be any true spectators of course, given that the ability to read minds didn't exist for all these two knew. To the outside it simply appeared as though Zane was in a fit of seething. Trollson shrugged rather casually at Zane's near-inzane behavior and took the chance to speak to the other party here instead. "You know this guy, Odin? He's kinda weird. I like him." Trollson laughed heartily as he sat back down to continue working on his prime meal, starting to now properly cook the meat. It would most likely only take a couple more minutes before their meal was ready. "I will make some for you too. How do you know Zane? Is it a funny story? I love funny stories. Like that one about the trolls under the bridge! That one's so stupid... I would never go under a bridge!"


Get Trolled [Open] Empty Tue Apr 27, 2021 6:18 am

Odin chuckled at Zane's words. As per usual, the vessel of Beelzebub had gotten himself into some ridiculous situation that he now needed saving from, and his guild master coming out of nowhere seemed like a blessing in disguise. However, that would only be the case if Odin had any intention of helping, hence the laughter. The ball was entirely in Odin's court, he could quite easily make the situation worse for Zane if he wanted to. For now, he was content to just watch it play out.

Odin was slightly taken aback at the name Bill. For one, it was a terrible name for a Lich, and would never be able to inspire fear. But it was also generally very rare to meet another Lich. After all, Odin had only ever met one other in his entire life, and he had been master of a light guild and had tried to kill Odin. Thinking to himself about all this, the Lich had missed most of the racism discussion, but the general concepts were things he was very much used to at this point. 'Ohhh, he's a Lich, he evil. He's scary.' Even though it was all true, it still hurt to make that kind of generalisation.

Looking back up at the troll, who was now equally ignoring Zane, Odin realised that Trollson was actually quite good company, so far at least. He asked about Zane, and how they had met, hoping for it to be an interesting story. He likely wouldn't be too disappointed, as Odin took a seat by the fire, deciding it best not to tell Trollson that he didn't actually eat anything, being a Lich and all.

"It all started maybe around a year ago. Where we're from, a lot of people think I'm a bad guy, so I decided to hide with a group of good people so no one would be able to find me. One of those people was this guy, although back then I had no idea who he'd be. It wasn't until we ended up stuck inside a massive prison fighting little lizard people that I actually saw him first. He fired off a really big spear of light that made me think 'yeah, this guy might be worth knowing', so after that I made a better group than the old one and invited him to join."

Trollson listened a lot, but it almost seemed like his mind was fixed on one part of the story. Turning to Zane, he would say, "Oh I like big lights! Show me the light spear, Zane." Odin was happy that his face couldn't show emotion, because the grin that would be on his face right now would've been stretched wide.

"Yeah Zane, show us the light spear."


Get Trolled [Open] Empty Thu Apr 29, 2021 6:46 pm

Bickering. The fine men and women of this world had engaged in it amongst their family, friends and loved ones for all of time. Many people bickered and many fine arguments came about, but this was most likely the greatest bout of all time. In a way it was a shame that nobody could actually witness what was going on inside of Zane's head... but if we're being real it was also kind of a mercy. Thankfully the intense argument was finally brought to a halt as Trollson and Odin demanded to see 'the light spear' that Zane apparently knew how to perform. "Light spear?" Zane asked, putting his hand on his chin for a moment. "Maybe they mean a flashlight? Is that what those are called?" Zane grumbled. Maybe they did mean that? He couldn't really remember anything he could do that looked like a spear of li- "Oh! You mean Fairy Glitter!" Zane raised a finger up, finally having recalled what that move was named. "I've not heard of that one. Is it powerful? Why haven't you used it since I met you?"

"I'm not a Fairy Tail member anymore, so I can't really use it." Zane explained in his head, not really bothered by the fact that such an insanely powerful tool was no longer available to him. It had a stupid name anyways. "Oh. You can just tell them that then." Zane wasn't going to do as Beelzebub suggested. That sounded boring. Instead, he'd show off to his new troll friend in a way that worked pretttty much the same. Holding out his right arm, Zane took a deep breath in. "I'm going to throw it into the air. If I were to chuck it through the forest I'm sure that half of iceberg would be deforested." Trollson widened his large troll eyes, impressed by the blonde man's boasts. "Oh wow! You're strong, Zane. Almost as strong as my dad, haha. He could lift up 10 boulders!"

Zane moved his right arm back, making a bit of a grunting sound as though he was charging up a powerful attack in a shounen anime. "Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." He grunted, his face scrunching as though he was seriously straining himself by way of pulling this off. "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...." Zane continued, really stretching this performance to an abnormal level. It was as if the anime was getting a little bit too close to the current chapter of the manga and needed to be dragged out. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Zane screamed, letting his arm up into the air as the sheer volume of his scream sent many birds flying out of nearby trees. Panting afterwards, Zane acted fatigued as he put his hands on his knees. "I didn't see it. Where is the spear?" Trollson asked, confused. Zane lifted his head up towards Trollson, offering an explanation. "It's made of light. Everything around us is light. You're not supposed to be able to see it." Zane turned his head towards the bone man. "Right, Odin?"


Get Trolled [Open] Empty Wed May 05, 2021 7:43 am

Of all the things Odin had expected from Zane: trying to talk his way out of the situation, actually trying to recast Fairy Glitter and deal with whatever consequences arose, or even just running away and hoping Trollson wouldn't be able to catch him (he almost certainly would even without the ability to fly), this was by far the most ridiculous. He watched with about as much curiosity as Trollson, despite having seen the spell. It was the only spell Odin's eye had ever witnessed that had been impossible to copy, and he wanted to know if that was just a fluke or perhaps a much larger limitation. After all, if he was able to get it, it would grant him incredible power.

The chanting was, especially given the fact it was completely unnecessary, extremely amusing to watch as Zane manipulated Trollson masterfully. The giant being watched with great delight as Zane 'charged up' the power of the spell, and then released absolutely nothing into the air. For a brief second Odin looked up with Trollson, but his eye confirmed that there had been no spell cast in the area, only a strange man screaming in the forest. The explanation caused Odin to laugh out loud, something the troll picked up on and seemed confused about. Ensuring that neither of the two guild members got suddenly attacked by a giant beast, Odin clarified, "I hadn't thought about it before, but I only saw the spell in a really dark room thanks to my magical eye", the Lich made the eye spin around in the socket, it was strange having complete control over just one eyeball, "so it might just be invisible. After all, I don't think anyone other than the two of us here have ever actually witnessed the spell being used." Walking over the Zane, offering a hand to help him up, Odin looked back at the troll, "We should really count ourselves lucky, Trollson."

Taking a moment to try and understand why he should feel lucky, Trollson then replied, "Oh okay. Thank you for not blowing up the forest Zane. You might not be as strong as my dad, but maybe you're almost as strong as my mum, and she can be really scary." He shuddered, likely at the recollection of a past beating he had received from his mother. The meat was ready shortly after that, and Trollson certainly held up his end of the bargain, ripping some of the meat off and giving it to Odin and Zane, even sitting it on a plate-shaped rock to offer it to the two. "Enjoy the food."

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