Lacrimas. The DNA of the soul. Not really, actually. It certainly felt that way to Tian at times, though. Ever since he had gotten back to Fiore over a year ago, all he had really done was work on his craft. Who could blame him? Back in Sin, lacrimas weren't nearly as common as they were here. Well, at least that was based off the area of Sin Tian had been in. There was definitely no doubt that Fiore was a huge well of magic, and that magic included lacrima technology.

Fixing a lacrima-powered light in a woman's house, Tian thought about the time he'd spent in Fiore. Unfortunately, most of it had been spent doing simple tasks like this... sighing, he made the final touches to it as he came down from the stool he had been standing on. Turning to the woman, Tian held out his hand with a smile. "Aaaaaaallright lady, that'll be the normal amount. Ya got that much, right?"

With a disappointed look Tian soon left the woman's house, no money in hand. He really should have insisted, but he was never quite the best at standing up for himself. Plus, that lady was so pretty... and kind... soon realizing just how much of a sucker he really was, Tian sighed as he made his way down the warm summer streets of Marigold. Nothing seemed to be moving forward for him. It was almost entirely the same mundane jobs, sometimes without proper pay... there was simply no going up in the world for him right now. Would there ever be? Was he fated to be like this forever?

Frustrated by his lack of forward direction, Tian took a walk around town. He needed something to do. Friends! That was one thing that he'd think would be cool to have. Still, he didn't know anyone in Marigold. It was still a rather new city to him, perhaps the newest to him of all the cities in Fiore. It didn't seem like a bad place, though. Just kind of... normal. Not normal as in super normal, but nothing much really stuck out about it, at least to Tian. What was he really going to do here?

Tian's random wandering would soon be met with a sign. Not a metaphorical one, though. A literal sign. A big old sign on the Marigold Theater. It was comedy night. Anybody could come up and have a go. This seemed like a fun idea! Tian wasn't completely confident in his comedy skills, but he was still certain he knew how to tell a good joke or two. It was a plan, then. He could go up and tell the best jokes in the whole world, all while listening to what everyone else had to offer. What in all of Earthland was there to lose?

Taking a seat in the theater, the stage seemed to be open for people to come and stand up when someone else's turn was up. There was a lacrima powered mic on the stage too, one Tian instantly recognized as being of high quality. This place was really nice after all - he supposed it warranted some good tech as well. Waiting his turn, Tian listened to a man give his routine on the stage.

"And then my boss is like - and get this - "oh, well, we're launching it in beta in two weeks". Like, two weeks? That's what you said two weeks ago!" The whole place roared with laughter. The joke was so funny. Tian didn't get it. Was it some kind of inside joke? Was it a Marigold kind of thing? Was this an extremely meta form of comedy roleplaying? The hell is comedy roleplaying? Nothing made sense, but luckily the man's turn was up only a few moments later. Tian took a deep breath. Here he went.

Taking care that his knees weren't weak and his arms weren't heavy, Tian stood up on the stage calm and ready. Taking the mic in hand, he cleared his throat. "Heya, people of Marigold. Hah, why do they call it that anyways? What, did a golden girl named Mary live here?"


...


...


Seeing as his routine was falling apart, Tian gulped. "U-uh, anyways... how ya guys doing tonight, huh? How about you, my friend?" he asked, pointing at a random person in the audience. This was a common stalling tactic. He could use this to have some extra time to think of a joke. All he needed was for the person he pointed to to just give a generic response. But nobody would give anything but that, right? Surely Tian didn't end up pointing at a weirdo who would only serve to help hasten the quick sinking of Tian's comedy ship, right? Right?

Marigold was starting to try Caius' patience. Sure he had met some people here and made some connections but the town itself was a shit hole. Half of it was farmers working in the field and then getting drunk at the bar talking about corn and livestock. The only real cultured place was the Marigold Theater where there were shows on every day. Rather than a play, this week had a comedy stand up routine. Caius wasn't one for stand up but maybe someone inside would be able to entertain him. He walked into the building and purchased the best seat they had in the front row.

The first person was a woman who got booed of stage. She just kept repeating jokes about her lady parts over and over again. Sure the first time it might have been funny but when it's your whole act it's trash. The next guy was a man name Shinsei who talked about all the broken systems in the world and how everyone is affected by them. It was pretty dark humor but that was Caius' favorite. He gave it up and started to chuckle to himself. Though he didn't get the two weeks joke at all that seemed to hit everyone else in the crowd.

The next man went up on stage was a young kid. This must have been his first time because he was sweating nervously. It looked like he tried to appease the crowd by bring up a joke about their city but it was low tier. Nobody even booed they just sat in silence in disbelief. Despite that, he continued on. Something Caius could respect. Fight through the pain. The young comedian pointed to Caius in the audience asking him his mood. "Well I was doing pretty good until you got on the stage." The audience laughed at his remark. "But by all means continue. Maybe you can make 1 person laugh."

The pain. The pain of rejection. The pain of criticism. The pain of those chicken nuggets at lunch that tasted kind of off. These were really getting to Tian now. He was always a fragile boy. As a kid, he only ever had Mei to stand up for him. Needless to say, unless she was well hidden in the audience, she wasn't here. It wasn't like in Sin either, where his teacher could defend him. No... Tian was all on his own now. And that was a scary fact. The lights of the theater shining down on him, Tian's face clearly scrunched up a bit, almost as if he was trying to hold in tears. He was a sensitive young man, so sensitive that the bearded man's comments cut through him like a knife. "Y-ya..." Opening his mouth to speak, Tian quickly realized that he couldn't go down like this. He was getting emotional. He needed to stop himself. He needed to go deep inside his head and use his anime main protagonist powers to think of a complex plan within seconds during a fight - a fight in this case being defending himself against the crowd, that man in particular.

Tian looked down to the floor for a second while he thought. It would only take a moment. All he had to do was think of a plan, something that would get him out of this. He knew a lot of novels where the main protagonist was super smart. All he had to do was be like those guys. There was no reason he couldn't, right? Acting as though words were floating above his head, within mere seconds Tian was able to formulate a genius flowchart with his master intellect, one capable of truly DESTROYING the man with facts and comedy.



This was it. The master plan had been created. There was nothing left to do. Tian was especially impressed by himself - the flowchart had only taken mere seconds to form in his mind. He was really a genius on par with the best - both in fiction and in real life. He didn't let the tension get to him and mess up, or take too long. He was good.

In reality, Tian took 2 and a half minutes of thinking.

"Heh, actually... I'll have ya know..." the opening lines. These were very important. They set up the foundation of the more casual tone of his plan. Nobody wanted someone tense at a comedy night. Tian now looked to the audience. They all had a rather relaxed look on their face. Tian supposed they were just chilling. In reality, the audience was somewhere between annoyed or concerned. If anyone did say anything, Tian's nervous thinking would have most likely blocked it out. He definitely didn't notice anything. And so he thought everything was just fine. "Haha, yea, ya got me. I know, I know. Kid up here, standing on the stage all nervous and sweaty, making some awkward jokes. Haven't seen this much of a blunder since that one gallery in Oak tried to change their entire selection to that one wojak guy, am I right?" Tian laughed a little, a nervous chuckle yet still with more confidence than one would expect from someone in such a situation. Tian's heart would beat a little bit right after saying the joke. Would the people laugh? In the next second or two, Tian was sure to find out. Perhaps his future in comedy - and his future in Marigold by extension - would be ending tonight.

The kid was hurt by his words but seemed to be formulating some type of comeback. That was the comedians greatest weapon. The quick wit. However, the young man sat in silence for minutes which made the audience very uncomfortable. Some even recommended checking on him. Maybe he had fainted on his feet from the pressure. However, the kid finally spoke to everyone's surprise . In Caius' heart of hearts he hoped for some type of joke that would land but that was a pipe dream. He insulted himself which was a good start but his punchline was about some gallery. Caius had been there a long time ago where he met this Geb guy that abandoned him mid tour. The crowd had it and started to boo.

After the boos faded Caius finally had had enough. He didn't have super high hopes after the first comedian but the 2nd one raised his spirits. Now this kid was bringing his mood down again. Caius pointed his finger and created a magic circle. A small bullet would fire at the kid's feet. The crowd gasped at his antics and some even started to leave. Some clapped thinking it was part of the act. Brave ones sat and waited to see how it would play out. "Kid you have about 10 seconds to make me laugh before I start blasting. Tick tock."

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It was often a rare occurrence for comedians to get shot. Though, wait. Maybe it was a rare occurrence that GOOD comedians got shot. Then again, Tian wasn't really a comedian, so he wasn't sure if this case would actually contribute to said statistic either way. While his shoes prevented the bullet shot at his foot from doing any real bleeding, the shot still hurt quite a bit. Bringing his hand to his foot, Tian groaned out in pain. In a way, this was actually slapstick comedy. "The hell ya doin, man?!" Tian asked, clutching his foot in discomfort. The situation was enough to make even him a bit mad. This was the first time the poor boy had ever really been shot at, and in a theater no less. If Abraham Lincoln existed in this universe Tian would certainly make some kind of joke of that nature. In actuality he had no good jokes that could come from the situation. Only pain mixed with a dose of anger.

Seething and sucking his teeth in a little, Tian didn't care if this man shot a bullet through his chest. This heckler could go to heck for all he cared. "Got ten seconds to do your mom!" Tian yelled out, not realizing that joke didn't really make sense. In the end of it all, it was really just that he wanted to say 'your mom' to the man in some form. His mission was accomplished at this point. The heckler could probably spin at as some sort of self defense anyways - the legal system in Fiore was screwed, in Tian's opinion. He was willing to bet that he'd soon appear on the local newspaper. Perhaps they'd prop him up as a local business owner with a truly harrowing story.  Tian's eyes looked onward to face the man, ready for the possibility of his demise. The anger in Tian's eyes was apparent, even from the distance. He was the type who always did like his jokes. Except this time, the joke was on him. Yeah, that's a shitty line to end the post off on, I know.

The shot go this attention and the kid as he grabbed his foot. It wasn't lethal but maybe would light a fire in his ass. Then he spoke what might have been the final moments of his career. Caius couldn't believe it. Out of all the jokes he went for the lowest brow humor ever. A "your mom" joke. After a few seconds of dead silence Caius replied back to the kid who was on the stage. "My mom's demon vagina would probably destroy you." He aimed his finger as a large purple magic circle formed causing the crowd to run away. They knew that was coming. "But for real though fuck you." The darkness magic fired from his finger and would blast towards the failed comedian. He had not seen a comedian this bad since the woman talking about her lower parts over and over again. The shot would travel the full 50m before dispersing so he would be sent on a trip. He should have worn his pumped up kicks and ran.

EXIT

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