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Accepting the Split[Solo]

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#1Alyssa 

on Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:34 pm

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Alyssa had felt the need to get away. After the past few days she had, she needed time to get straight with Lyss and Arcane. As Kenny slept, she slipped off into the morning towards the only place she ever loved being, the farms. They were packed with friendly workers in every spot except for the outskirts. Here was where Alyssa found her peace. As a beast tamer, she felt calm around animals and the farmlands were packed with them. Animals normally strayed to her, from wild to tamed, they all had an unnatural love for the girl and Arcane.

She sat down on near the edge of the forest, willing herself to be calm, and soon, a small fawn was approaching her, it's mother in tow. Arcane laid beside her quietly observing the animal. Alyssa put her hand out, allowing the animal to sniff her before beginning to bounce around, playing. Arcane stood quickly, following the young fawn, playing with him. Alyssa knew at some point she would need to get a friend for him to play with where he was not lonely. The mother deer came closer, laying beside Alyssa.

"I'm going to call you, Eva." She gently patted the head of the animal. "At least something likes me. It seems lately I have been pushing everyone away, even the people I love. How do you know if someone actually loves you? The world is a scary place full of liars, cheats, and murderers. Sadly I have one of those inside of me." She could feel the split stir at her calling her a murderer. "Well what else do you expect me to say? You kill people."

#2Alyssa 

on Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:44 pm

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The split pushed forward enough in Alyssa's mind to where she could communicate. She had stayed quiet docile in the back of her mind after the incident with Kenny which did not surprise Alyssa in the least. 'You could not put it so harshly. I apologize that your bad idea to buy the stupid cursed weapon gave me power. You keep acting like you are not part of me. I am not a murderer, we are. Quit pretending like you are better than me. Without me, you would have no confident bone in your body, you would be the shy girl who lets everyone walk over her. You must get used to the fact that I am a part of you. You feel as if you have been shoved away from everyone? You keep me locked inside of a cage. I have grown up as your shadow.' The split spoke to Alyssa, her voice gracing the back of her mind.

She had to admit, the split had somewhat of a point. She did brush her off as just a parasite, something feeding off of her, which technically, the split was. It was nothing but a mental illness, yet it was still more. She was born with it, grew up with it as her only friend, her only means of getting through things. Lyss deserved more credit than she was getting. Alyssa knew if they were opposites, if she was the split, she would be miserable pacing in the back of a mind all day, never getting a say in anything. She hated to say it, but the split was right.

#3Alyssa 

on Wed Jun 21, 2017 8:52 pm

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"You have a point, I will admit. Yet you must understand, you are nothing but a mental illness to others. Yes, you are my best friend and loved by Kenny, but others do not understand the bond we share. If anyone were to see us now, they would think I was insane." She laughed. "I guess technically I am considering I am speaking to myself with my companion chasing around a fawn with her mother laying on my lap. I could be the crazy animal woman!" The doe did not move from it's spot. It never judged her, simply sat and listened, unable to understand what she was saying. Her thoughts were a mess and her stomach was in knots.

"I do not understand what I am feeling. Kenny and I are finally official and that makes me feel amazing, like I am walking on cloud nine. I feel jealous that he made it official with you. I know you are a part of me, but I am the biggest part." She wanted to say most important but even she knew that was not true, the split was just as important as she was. Though it would not be as much of a hassle if the split died, Alyssa could not live without her. "You are very bipolar, I never know what is going to happen when I let you out. You have always been so kind around Kenny, yet you hate everyone else. I feel like you hate me..." And honestly, she did feel that way. She felt as if the split hated her very being for keeping her locked away.

#4Alyssa 

on Wed Jun 21, 2017 9:02 pm

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The split scoffed. She could never hate the girl she grew up with. She knew everything about her, of course she had to, as they were the same person. Alyssa was right, she was nothing but a mental illness. The truth hurt, yet she knew it was something she would have to accept sooner or later. Lyss was simply that, a mental illness. She knew Alyssa could feel the hurt pouring into her body, making her upset herself. She knew Alyssa had not meant it the way she had said it, but she could not help but feel upset at the fact that she thought that way.

'I know I am nothing but a hassle to you, and I know you would give anything to get rid of me but alas that cannot happen. I am a part of you, Alyssa. We are one. If you would learn to accept it instead of constantly pushing me behind that barrier in your mind you would be much less stressed. It is not like I am just going to push my way out without thinking. Do you think I am a heathen? I may not know as much about humans but I have watched from the shadows. I know basic manners. I understand that murdering is bad, I understand the basic principals of life. Give me a bit more credit.'

The split had hoped she was getting through to her greater half. She could not live trapped in the cages of her own mind any longer. She had been truthful, she would not just push out without asking, unless the situation called for it. Unless she knew she could protect the two of them better than Alyssa herself could. This was an oath she was making.

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